NOTE: Due to travel and other issues, YAD will be updating more irregularly than usual during the first two weeks of September. Follow YAD on Twitter if you need YAD methadone during this time.
You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
About The Site
The phrase "You Are Dumb" is a catharsis for the twenty-first century. Sure, that sounds a bit high-handed, but try it some time.
After all, you're not dumb, are you? Of course you're not. Which means you, in the course of your everyday life, see dumb things out there. For the most part, various cultural factors and taboos prevent you from shouting it at idiots, but there will be moments where you can get away with it. Try it. Go on. "You. Are. Dumb." A simple declarative, judgmental statement, but it feels oh, so good. Rolls trippingly off the tongue. Three different word stress options too, if you want to express surprise ("You ARE dumb!"), be specific about who you're referring to ("YOU are dumb."), or point out super-boneheadedness "You are DUMB.").
Advanced forms can play with two or even three emphases, but we recommend beginners stick to just one.
Dumbness is increasingly being seen as perfectly acceptable by society, from Forrest Gump to George W. Bush. Dumbness is rewarded. Not-dumbness is penalized. You Are Dumb is not just my own personal catharsis and rant-muscle workout routine, it's a chance to take a little territory back from the dumb. A noble cause, yes, but if each and every person who reads this feel a little better about being smarter, then I will have improved things for the entire half-dozen of you.
And for the rest of the planet who isn't reading this? I've got three words for you, and I think you'd know what they are if you had read this, except that if you'd read this, they wouldn't be for you after all. Unless you're a subject who found your way here through narcissistic Googling, in which case, all I can say is, that's the breaks, and I hope you enjoy your stay on the Internet.
Why make fun of dumb people?First, because it's funny. And second, because one of the main points of this column is that dumb people ruin things for the rest of us. From the guy with the cart full of stuff in the express lane to the president who can't pronounce "nuclear", dumb people make life worse every single day, yet rarely reap the consequences. This column is a tiny bit of payback.
Who are you to judge?
It's the Internet. Therefore, I can say as much as I can afford to host, and say it to as many people as I can convince to read this.
Youaredumb.net is not affiliated with any organization or agenda; it's strictly the writing, ranting, and observations of a guy named Bryan who sees dumb stuff.
Why do you swear so much?
I use the word that fits best. Sometimes that word is "asymptotic". Sometimes that word is "fuckhole". Merry Christmas.