Archive - Oct 23, 2009

Happy Thoughtcrimes Day!

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Before we begin Spastic Topic Monkey Friday, I'd just like to wish everyone a happy Thoughtcrimes Day. See, yesterday, the Senate passed the law that extends hate crimes protections to gay and transgendered individuals.

That would be good news under any circumstances, but over the past few months, all the e-mails I've gotten from wingnuts has convinced me that the United States government has just criminalized disapproving of homosexuals, and will be breaking down the doors of churches nationwide the instant Barack Obama signs the bill into law.

I mean, no less an intellectual luminary than Tony Fucking Perkins called the law "part of a radical social agenda that could ultimately silence Christians and use the force of government to marginalize anyone whose faith is at odds with homosexuality." Which means any minute now, Tony Perkins is going to be marginalized. Apparently not so marginalized that the Associated Press doesn't have him on speed dial to provide a pithy quote about how marginalized he is, but still. Marginalized.

So anyway, either the sane people are right, and now gay people finally enjoy the same protections that women and minorities have, OR the crazy people are right, and the crazy people are all going to get locked up for thinking gays are icky. Don't feel too bad - all the closet cases can escape persecution and prosecution by coming out publicly, so that should limit the damage considerably.


Speaking of blind hate, Pat Buchanan is still a fucking racist, couching his inherent hatred of black people in a historical defense of white middle-class privilege. He wrote a column for WorldNetDaily, bastion of sanity, about the "Oath Keepers", a bunch of white ex-military, ex-cop types who are getting ready to start a revolution if they have to. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"Moreover, the alienation and radicalization of white America began long before Obama arrived...In their lifetimes, they have seen their Christian faith purged from schools their taxes paid for, and mocked in movies and on TV... They watch on cable TV as illegal aliens walk into their country, are rewarded with free educations and health care and take jobs at lower pay than American families can live on – then carry Mexican flags in American cities and demand U.S. citizenship... America was once their country. They sense they are losing it. And they are right."

Aw, widdums. And now you can't even beat up a gay person just for being gay without getting a few years tacked onto your sentence after you're caught. Things are tough all over. And all Pat Buchanan can do about it is parlay his status as a rich white male and failed Presidential candidate into a cushy job on MSNBC telling everyone in the nation what he thinks. Seems to me there's a bit more losing left to be done.


And finally, since it's Friday, I'm going to do something I almost never do, and let a news story speak entirely for itself, letting both the awesomeness of the story and my own puerile amusement at the wording. ACTUAL LAZY REPOSTING MOST OF AN ARTICLE TIME!

Kathy Hall, Colorado Oil And Gas Chief, Resigns Amid Brazen Comments About Fracking Fluid

"A representative of the Colorado Oil and Gas Association, Kathy Hall, resigned from the organization last week, reports the Denver Post's Susan Greene. The resignation comes after Hall made some brazen statements in a documentary called 'Split Estate' about the environmental impacts of the controversial fracking technique used by oil and gas companies.

In the documentary, Hall claimed to have 'had fracking fluid taken right out of a fracking truck... I've had it in my mouth. I've tasted it, and I'm just fine.'

Hall was attempting to disprove allegations that Fracking fluid is highly toxic.

Greene quotes Hall as first denying she had ever said anything regarding having tasted Fracking fluid, then admitting she 'may have mentioned "something about my mouth."'" - Huffington Post