You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Archive - Jun 27, 2011
Memo to Wisconsin: DON'T YOU DARE ACT SURPRISED.
You know what you were getting into. You may not have known the exact degree, but you knew the general type. It was all over the news at the time. I even devoted an entire Idiots Say The Damndest Things to it at the time. But you elected him anyway. By a narrow margin, sure, but you don't really expect a narrow victory for a judge who admits to calling the chief justice of the Wisconsin Supreme Court a "bitch" and threatening to "destroy" her. I guess the voters were convinced by this pledge, which I'll repeat for those who don't want to click back to the previous article.
"The first thing I would say is that when I’m reelected a lot of the problems are going to change because there will be no longer an incentive to try to embarrass Dave Prosser and put certain members of the Court in a bad light. So it’s a little disconcerting to me that today they have ganged up and tried to recruit candidates to run against me and create a foul atmosphere inside the Court."
See? Once he's elected, everything will be better. And he was right, if you're, oh, a woman who HATES OXYGEN. Not the network, the breathable gas.
"The facts are that I was demanding that he get out of my office and he put his hands around my neck in anger in a chokehold." - Justice Ann Walsh Bradley, after reports of the incident leaked to the press on Friday.
Bradley, by the way, is the justice who, along with Chief Justice Shirley Abrahamson, Prosser accused of "goading" him until he lost his temper and dropping the b-bomb. This time, Prosser isn't blaming the victim personally, preferring to have an anonymous flunky (as educated guesses go, this is one I'm comfortable with) do it for him.
The anonymous source telling Prosser's side claims that Bradley charged him with her fists, he tried to block her, accidentally touched her neck, and she immediately started yelling that he was choking her, which he totally wasn't doing.
Note that once again, Prosser's side of the story is that he was, at worst, overzealously defending himself against the aggression of an abusive, crazy woman. A woman who clearly must have intimidated all the other conservative Supreme Court justices thoroughly, since Prosser is the only one brave enough to actually publicly say that anything out of the ordinary is going on. Funny that.
Now, I'm no psychologist, but I think it's pretty clear the dude has issues with women. I mean, first of all, he's an arch-conservative, single, Wisconsin Republican in his 60s. You could start a red flag store with that inventory alone. Add in the prior incidents and where he placed the blame for those and how, and it paints a pretty clear fucking picture of who this guy is and what you could expect from him if you voted him into office.
Pretty clear to everyone, I guess, except 50% + 7,000 Wisconsin voters. Now, a lot of people think Prosser should be forced to resign. And under normal circumstances, I'd agree with them. But in this case, since he'd just have an ideological clone appointed to replace him by Scott "Still A Prick, By The Way" Walker, I think he should keep his job, as long as he agrees to participate in some form of Invisible Fence-style restraining order.
Clearly Prosser has anger management issues. The man has a temper. Maybe it's because he's bitter, maybe it's because he's a direct descendent of Genghis Khan, doesn't really matter. The point is, if he's going to stay on the job, he needs to wear some kind of electrical behavior-modifying collar. Like an Invisible Fence, but for interpersonal boundaries instead of lawn ones. I don't know exactly how that would work - I'm an idea man. Details are for the engineers.
But I think it'd be OK if, to err on the side of caution, they implemented a system more likely to trigger a false positive than miss an actual flareup. I mean, the guy's obviously had decades of unpunished lashing out, so karmically, it should balance out in the end. BZZT!