Archive - Jul 11, 2012

Poo-Poo All Around

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Memo to Meghan McCain, David Brooks, and Crazy L.A. Guy: YOU ARE DUMB.

In case you were interested in a precise measurement of the gap between America's punditocracy and an insane street preacher shouting into the void, it turns out it's even smaller than you think. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS, but only some of them get to be paid money for it.

"Well, I don't know of proof exactly, but I think when there's a leak like this, you have to look and see who is benefitting. And the president is obviously benefitting from this." - Meghan McCain, during the brief attempt to make something damaging to Obama out of leaks that he had a secret drone program, a "kill list", and was counting any males of a certain age as "militants" if we killed them.

This is wrongness cubed. It's like an extreme fast food sandwich made entirely of wrong. A pound of wrong, topped with crispy wrong, melted wrong, and smothered in wrong sauce, topped with deep-fried wrong.

The problem with Obama's kill list is that it got leaked? WRONG. Speaking without having "proof, exactly?" WRONG. The fact that Obama might benefit from this? WRONG. True, but wrong. And who created the environment in which Obama could seem tough and decisive by using drones to bomb people in countries we're not officially at war with, and call them terrorists based on age and gender? Well, that'd be the Republican War On Terror. For fuck's sake.

"I don’t know if America has a leadership problem; it certainly has a followership problem. Vast majorities of Americans don’t trust their institutions. That’s not mostly because our institutions perform much worse than they did in 1925 and 1955, when they were widely trusted. It’s mostly because more people are cynical and like to pretend that they are better than everything else around them. Vanity has more to do with rising distrust than anything else." - David Brooks, actually respected actually paid columnist in the actual motherfucking New York Times.

This particular hit dropped about a month ago, but it's worth remembering. Ignore the false equivalency between OWS and the Tea Party. For David Brooks, that's just like breathing. He doesn't have to think about it to do it.

No, let's just stare, aghast, at the idea that if you think you're getting fucked by the system and the people who run it, it's not because you're getting fucked by the system and the people who run it. It's because you're cynical and vain and think you're better than... well, let's just say what David Brooks really said there, and not what he typed.

It's because you think you're better than David Brooks. And that can't possibly be correct, because David Brooks is a columnist for the New York Times, and you're just some... well, again, let's hit the subtext. You're just some uppity blogger who points out that David Brooks gets paid a lot of money to say a lot of very, very stupid shit. Get with the program, followers!

"The anus was not meant for the penis. Stop eating your poo-poo!" - An unfortunately unidentified L.A. street preacher, shouting at this year's Gay Pride parade.

I don't know what's funnier. That someone so eloquently distilled every single anti-gay argument you have ever heard and ever will hear into its core essence, or that it took a raving Los Angeles sidewalk lunatic to actually achieve that goal.

I mean, Minnesotans For Marriage carefully crafted an elaborate, multi-page website to seem like their opposition to gay marriage was a reasoned, rational argument, but the fact is, they're just standing on a street corner, yelling at happy people to stop doing something they think is gross.

Not, of course, that homosexuals are coprovores. But it's no surprise that support for gay marriage grows the more people actually meet and are aware of open, out gay people who don't embody the ridiculous stereotypes and exaggerations foisted on them by the religious right.