Archive - Jul 5, 2012

Crazy-Ass Zealotry: Still A Thing

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Memo to Dana Rohrbacher, David Barton, and Peter King: YOU ARE FUCKING NUTS.

Immersed as we all are in crazy-ass shit all the livelong day, we can't help but get used to it. Deadened to it, even. Wingnut rhetoric is designed, and has been designed for decades, to pull the margins of acceptable discourse farther and farther to their side. For example: calling for a single payer health care system is insane, pie-in-the-sky communism, but the DAMNDEST THINGS these IDIOTS SAY now fall within the window of normal. And yes, I know it's Thursday, but I have a backlog of quotes that are slowly spoiling, and I'm not going to pass up a chance to use three of them just because yesterday was Rah Rah Bang Boom Day.

"I’m opposed to cooperation with the Adolf Hitlers of our day, the people who are murdering Christians and other religious people as we speak. No, we should not be cooperating with that government in developing their technologies.” - Our old friend and congressman Dana Rohrbacher, on China.

First of all, China is a country. Adolf Hitler was a person. So already Rohrbacher is on shaky metaphorical ground. He should have said "The Nazi Germany of our time", since I'm sure he's incapable of actually naming the leader in China who's responsible for the policies he despises. Just figured I'd point that out so that when I continue his flawed metaphor in the next paragraph, you'll know it's on purpose.

There's also a bit of an articular problem going on here, because he really should have said "an" Adolf Hitler of our time, not "the" Adolf Hitler of our time. Because Iran's the Adolf Hitler of our time, North Korea is presumably still the Adolf Hitler of our time, Mitt Romney seems to think the Soviet Union is the Adolf Hitler of our time, plus there are one or two actually genocidal people in Africa who can lay claim to being Adolf Hitlers of our time. And that's just foreign countries. I've been led to believe that Planned Parenthood, ACORN, Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and "the left" are all Adolf HItlers of our time. And that's not even counting Michael Jordan's moustache from a couple of years ago.

All those Hitlers, and you know what? No love for Hamid Karzai, Dana? Come on. You're Dana Rohrbacher, for fuck's sake! The only member of Congress singled out by the leader of American-occupied Afghanistan for being such a huge asshole that you're not allowed in the country! If you're gonna call anyone Hitler, I'd think it'd be the dude who says you're too much of a scumbag for AFGHANISTAN to tolerate.

"Wouldn't it be interesting to do a study between those that are on welfare and see how much and how often they read the Bible. You know, if Booker T. Washington is right that Christianity and reading the Bible increases your desires and therefore your ability for hard work; if we take that as an axiom, does that mean that the people who are getting government assistance spend nearly no time in the Bible, therefore have no desire, and therefore no ability for hard work? I could go a lot of places with this. I would love to see this proven out in some kind of sociological study, but it makes perfect sense." - Evangelical shithead David Barton.

You may recall that David Barton is the person whose radio show Rick Santorum thought we should be forced to listen to at gunpoint during the primaries. I can only assume that Silent P thought it'd be helpful for us to all learn how to unsubtly and preemptively dismiss charges of racism when talking about how lazy people on welfare are. Just appropriate a black dude, in this case, Booker T. Washington. I am not a Booker T. Washington scholar, so I can't say with certitude that he DIDN'T say that Christians work harder than other people, but the amount of time in Google I think is sufficient for the purposes of this article leads me to believe that Barton is, at best, interpreting the text.

And while it's nice that Barton is willing, however briefly, to entertain the notion that some scientist somewhere might be able to find evidence for his theory, notice that he doesn't wait for that to happen, or for some evidence-minded sociologist to ask him to fucking well quantify what he means by "much time in the Bible", before going ahead and deciding that his idea makes perfect sense. Me, I'd just like to add a couple of locations to the list of places Barton can go with this.

"We have an enemy that wants to kill us. I live in New York. I lost 150 constituents on 9/11, and if we can save the next 150 by killing al Qaeda terrorists with drones then kill them. There’s evil people in the world. Drones aren’t evil, people are evil. We are a force of good and we are using those drones to carry out the policy of righteousness and goodness." - Rep. Peter King, second dumbest King in Congress.

Next time you wonder why I'm really, really fucking uncomfortable with Obama's drone program and its willingness to classify civilian casualties as "militants" when they blow up groups of people in Pakistan and Yemen, remember this quote. Because it's bad enough with Obama, a non-zealot, being excessively fond of his robotic explosive foreign policy appendages. When Obama says everyone he killed was a terrorist, he's just lying so he can keep doing what he thinks he needs to keep doing. Which is bad, but not as bad as King, who thinks that because he happened to be in New York on 9/11, he can really and truly believe that the only people drones kill are terrorists.

I mean, I'm a pragmatist. I don't like the drone program, but they're here. That genie is not going back in the bottle. If they're going to be used, I'd like to see them used carefully, responsibly, and transparently. We don't have that now. But I still prefer carelessly, willfully, and through a series of secrets and lies to having them be the instrument of people who thinks using them is "righteous" and "good". It's that kind of thinking that led to us being in Afghanistan today. Well, most of us. Except Dana Rohrbacher.