Archive - Oct 14, 2013

One Wheel Per IQ Point

« October 2013 »

Memo to Truckbaggers: STILL NOT SCARY.

One of the things I have to occasionally remind acquaintances and such about is that the Tea Party is not scary. For all the talk about violent rhetoric, and for all the crossover between the Teabagger Nation and the gun-toting, Nugentian militia movement.

But they're not scary and they're not particularly violent, because they're stupid and they're American and they're lazy. They could hardly manage, for the most part, to even make a bunch of misspelled Hitler signs for a couple of years. Since then, they've pretty much left it to their vat-grown moron representatives in the House to do their yelling for them.

Your average teabagger is perfectly safe and barely capable of the tiniest bit of political action. I suppose if you run a website that allows unmoderated comments, they can be a bit of a nuisance, but that's where their menace peaks, at least outside the halls of Congress.

Which is why it was hilarious to hear about "Ride For The Constitution", a poorly-thought out protest by truckers to try and block traffic around the Beltway until Obama and certain members of Congress are forced out of office either through resignation or handcuffs. I think.

I mean, this is a virulent right-wing Internet-organized pseudo-protest. Which means it has at least three spokesmen and five goals - actual goals, emergency backup goals for when everyone laughs at the ridiculous actual goals, and super-duper emergency backup goals you can claim you had all along when the actual event fails to live up to any of your previously stated goals.

So, yeah. No elected officials were arrested, and none resigned. About 45 trucks showed up and got stuck in traffic, mostly caused by rain and the Beltway being the Beltway. Four trucks did slow down traffic in Virginia briefly, before being pulled over by the cops. How big a failure was it? Fox News and the Washington Fucking Times didn't even try to sugarcoat it.

Remember what I said before about websites with comments? Well, shit's about to get hilarious. ACTUAL FOX NEWS WEBSITE COMMENTS TIME!

"I am ashamed that fox news would lie this way. There are far more truckers there than Friday and you know there is. Fox News we are all catching on. Word od mouth is vast these days. You are becoming just as appeasing to Obama as any liberals news view. How disappointing that you would abandon your viewers and slap your supporters in their faces."

Ah, the great teabagger mindset. Anyone who doesn't say we're a force to be reckoned with must be lying, even though millions of people watched nothing happen and the biggest evidence of the so-called massive protest is a picture from a different month, in a different state, for a different reason - dug up and masquerading as the Ride For The Constitution on Facebook.

I mean, I know looking for the one source who tells you what you want to hear and calling the hundreds of others filthy liberal liars is the modern American pastime, but as is usual, the founder-humpers who worship their own fake interpretation of the Constitution take it to an all-new, all-pathetic level.

Which is why you don't need to be afraid of them.