Archive - Oct 17, 2013

Binge And Purge

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Memo to Republicans: CHOOSE WISELY... OR DON'T.

So, crisis semi-averted. The House fell apart, again. The Senate struck a deal, again. The government will reopen, the debt ceiling will not be breached, and most importantly, the debt ceiling will now be raised automatically unless Congress specifically votes not to raise it and the President signs it. So that shit is off the table.

Let's remember that this wasn't without cost. These shitheads shut down the government for two weeks, costing billions of dollars and thousands of jobs. The dysfunction has already hurt the economy and the whole financial status of the United States in the world. And it was all, in the end, for nothing. And sequestration-level budgets are now the new status quo, with none of the people hurt by it having a voice in the matter and nobody else caring.

Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot about the one concession - the super extra income verification of Obamacare subsidies that was pretty much going to happen anyway. They got that. Congratulations. I bet when Martin Stutzman didn't even know what they'd get out of this, he didn't think it would be this shitty.

But now the Republican Party has an important decision to make. Someone is to blame for this clusterfuck. Someone will have to be purged. The teabaggers will blame the moderates for caving to the Muslim Socialist, like the traitorous RINOs they are. The moderates are going to blame the teabaggers for making ridiculous stupid demands and making them all look like insane fuckwits.

And keep in mind, when I say "moderates", I mean people like Grover Motherfucking Norquist, who until the spectrum shifted around him used to be the rabid zealot all the extremists had to kowtow to before they did anything. That's how bugfuck this is. Grover Norquist is yelling at the teabaggers for going too far.

Who will win? We'll see. Between now and 2014, I suspect the teabaggers will lose big. But in 2014, we've got a pile of rabid, gerrymandered districts ripe for Heritage-funded far-right primaries. But I think, in the long run, we win either way.

If sane... OK, saner Republicans win out, then at least we get to deal with saner Republicans. And if the whackjobs win, well, they're a bunch of clearly incompetent idiots who can't strategize their way out of a flaming, poop-filled paper bag. So at least there's that.

We will, of course, return to your regularly-scheduled government-by-crisis in January, when the next government shutdown might happen.