Archive - Oct 22, 2013

Getting Things Straight

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Memo to Facebook users: YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'm betting you'll see this a lot, if you haven't seen it already, from "friends" fulfilling Facebook's primary user experience: learning that your high school buddy is now a teabagging racist. I hadn't seen this until recently, because fuck Facebook, that's why.

It's been incorrectly attributed to Donald Trump, which should tell you something both about the thing itself, and the people who would present it as wisdom. But it's just some bullshit, and I thought I'd do the world a favor with a quick You Are Dumb lightning-round debunking.

"Let me get this straight... "

Always a bad sign. Much like "I'm not a racist, but...", the phrase 'let me get this straight" is usually followed by content that disproves the phrase's basic premise.

We're going to be "gifted" with a health care plan we are forced to purchase and fined if we don't,

Trust me, in no way, shape, or form are you anywhere close to being "gifted". But yes, under the ACA, you either have to have health insurance or pay a fine, because people who willingly forego health insurance are a societal problem.

which purportedly covers at least ten million more people, without adding a single new doctor,

Yes, because that's capitalism. The government is providing the customers, the businesses then provide the capacity to take care of those customers. If we'd gone single-payer, the government wouild have to come up with the doctors to treat the inevitable aneurysm living under the heel of socialism would have given you.

but provides for 16,000 new IRS agents,

Not really true, but even if it were, the pejorative nature of the job title "IRS Agent" is not a thing in the world, it's a delusion in your head.

written by a committee whose chairman says he doesn't understand it,

This is so vague as to be meaningless, but being gracious, I backtracked this for you, and the person talked about is Max Baucus, and what he didn't understand was specific legal and technical information. And anyway, the whole point of having a committee write something is so that one person doesn't have to understand everything. This is different from Facebook, where everybody writes everything without understanding anything.

passed by a Congress who didn't read it but exempted themselves from it,

Ignoring "didn't read it", which is a windmill I'm not fucking tilting at because Congress doesn't work like third-grade civics modules from 1968 said it does, Congress didn't exempt itself from it. Congress was exempt from it for the same reason I am - I have employer-provided health coverage. So does Congress. And then a stupid attempt to make Congressional staffers buy plans under Obamacare got put in by Republicans, and that wasn't fair because they were losing a benefit and not being compensated for having to pay for that benefit out of pocket, so Congress gave itself a special exemption to not fuck over its staffers as a result of another special exemption. I know this is complicated, but Republicans made it that way and then you oversimplified it because you're oversimple.

and signed by a Dumbo President who smokes,

Trust me on this, I'm an expert. "Dumbo" is a cartoon elephant, not an insult meaning "stupid". Also, "smoked"; also, who gives a fuck? Health care coverage is not the same thing as personal health. Don't pretend you have a functional understanding of hypocrisy, irony, or logical contradiction.

with funding administered by a treasury chief who didn't pay his taxes,

Geithner's a bit of a shithead, yes. But he's not personally administering the funding, nor would his tax problems actually be relevant if he were. See "hypocrisy" note above.

for which we'll be taxed for four years before any benefits take effect,

No, again, you're thinking of single payer. Your premiums and/or fines fell under the legal definition of a "tax" in the Supreme Court ruling, yes, but you're fined because you're not getting benefits. The four years thing is, of course insane, because people have already gotten covered, ergo, benefits have taken effect.

by a government who has already bankrupted Social Security and Medicare,

Government's more of an "which" than a "who", and no it hasn't. Bankrupted means out of money and owing people more than it can pay. The word doesn't even fucking apply to SS and Medicare, and even if it did, it wouldn't describe the financial situation, which is complicated but nowhere near insolvent.

all to be overseen by a Surgeon General who is obese,

The Surgeon General isn't overseeing Obamacare. That's not the Surgeon General's job. And if it were, again, your problem understanding what a logical contradiction actually is appears to be both chronic and pre-existing. In which case, have you heard about what Obamacare can do for you?"

and financed by a country that is broke!!!!

Well, no. And you can't really complain in the same tirade about the government taking your money to pay for something you don't like, and the government not being able to pay for something you don't like because it doesn't have any money. That, and you'd see this coming if you weren't such a dumb-o, is a logical contradiction.

"What the hell could possibly go wrong?"

You could keep voting.