Archive - Oct 9, 2013

The Bugfuck Conundrum, Part 2

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Memo to Brenda Barton, Scott Garrett, and Ted Yoho: YOU ARE DUMB AND ALSO POSSIBLY BUGFUCK.

As we sit here, at the midway point between the government shutdown and the debt ceiling expiration, we are in many ways left in the same exact dilemma we were in the days before the shutdown. Are they dumb enough to drag us all over the cliff, or is it all an act designed to keep the rubes entertained?

I'm beginning to wonder why I'm even bothering to make the distinction between bugfuck insane, and having to constantly act bugfuck insane to convince us that they're bugfuck insane. If we do crack the debt ceiling, though, it'll be brought to you by "thinking", and I use that term more loosely than any ironic can convey, like this. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"Someone is paying the National Park Service thugs overtime for their efforts to carry out the order of De Fuhrer... where are our Constitutional Sheriffs who can revoke the Park Service Rangers authority to arrest??? Do we have any Sheriffs with a pair?" - Arizona State Rep. Brenda Barton, using Facebook for its intended purpose - letting all your high school buddies know you've become a right-wing lunatic.

Speaking of unsolvable conundrums, let's take a second to ponder "De Fuhrer". Facebook typo, historical ignorance, or racist dialect? I don't know. It's Arizona, so that doesn't help narrow down the options at all. It's a state legislator, so that doesn't help to narrow down the options at all either. Maybe I made a mistake when I decided these fuckholes were my new hobby.

Anyway, the point is, this weird-ass Arizona Republican thinks the Park Service is full of Obama's Nazi goons, and that's who we're supposed to be negotiating with because they've taken the economy hostage. I think Obama's learned this lesson, at least, albeit five years too late.

"They may try to throw the kitchen sink at the debt limit, but I don't think our conference will be amenable for settling for a collection of things after we've fought so hard. If it doesn’t have a full delay or defund of Obamacare, I know I and many others will not be able to support whatever the leadership proposes. If it’s just a repeal of the medical-device tax, or chained CPI, that won’t be enough." - New Jersey congressman Scott Garrett, demonstrating classic vat-grown GOP logic.

Republicans have convinced themselves that hard work automatically leads to success. So now they've convinced themselves that they've fought hard, and therefore they deserve success. Basically, they see legislating like they see the first Rocky movie. Rocky trained hard, fought hard, and in the end, beat up a Russian and won the Cold War for Ronald Reagan wrapped in an American flag.

Also, notice that he's now casting a cut in Social Security benefits, aka "chained CPI", as a mere bread crumb not even worthy of being called a legitimate compromise. So, yeah. Still completely fucked.

"I think, personally, it would bring stability to the world markets... we need to have that moment where we realize [we're] going broke. I’m not going to raise the debt ceiling.” - Florida congressman Ted Yoho, treating economics like Republicans treat every other science.

Now, it's true that economists don't know what, exactly, will happen when we bump up against the debt ceiling. But that's because they don't know which of a whole bunch of bad things will actually happen and who will end up taking the hit. Nobody's saying it will bring stability to the markets, because nobody's that stupid unless they're in Congress.

Also, we're not broke. Not even close to broke. Well, we're close to acting broke, but that's because Yoho wants us to pretend to be broke so that we think we're broke so that the markets will think one of the biggest economies on the planet is broke and, upon seeing that, STABILIZE.

This isn't a footrace to see which of your individual stupidities can kill us all first, people.