Archive - Oct 2013

September 30th

No Known Cure

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Memo to David Horowitz, Rand Paul, and Rick Perry: YOU ARE WRONG.

The epidemic of fact-resistant wrongalococcus continues unabated, and thanks to the government shutdown, the CDC can't even track it anymore. I'll do what I can in the meantime, with my limited resources. Here's three new data points, but we're still no closer to finding Patient Zero. But whoever he or she is, they're clearly an IDIOT who SAYS THE DAMNDEST THINGS.

"No one will say it out loud. I will: It’s because the color of his skin is black. It is because Obama is a minority that nobody will hold him to a standard or confront him with what he has done.” - Longtime YAD participant David Horowitz, returning after a long absence.

That's weird. All the people criticizing Obama despite his blackness must be hanging around with all the Muslims denouncing terrorism, because David Horowitz has managed to never hear any of them. Which is odd, because most of the people criticizing Obama hate Muslims.

I mean, I know his quote predates the shutdown for a couple of weeks, but all the Republicans in the house voting for the shutdown are under the delusion that they're holding Obama to a standard and confronting him with what he's done. And they're not exactly keeping a low profile. But why would facts like that get in the way of Horowitz' race-baiting?

"You know, I think it was helpful to talk more about it. We haven't had a big debate about Obamacare really since it passed in Congress. And so I think it was helpful to have the debate." - Everyone's favorite libertarian puppy, Rand Paul.

What do you mean by "we", asshole? Do you mean we, the people? Because we did have a big legal fight in states and in the Supreme Court about Obamacare since it passed Congress. So you couldn't have meant that, because then you'd be lying.

And you certainly can't mean your colleagues in the House, because, you've held around 40 failed votes to repeal Obamacare. So, again, you're lying. Or you decided to repeal Obamacare without any serious, big debate about it. Either way, it doesn't speak well to your skills as a legislator. You know, like the rest of your career.

"From time to time we’ll stick the wrong word in the wrong place, and you pounce upon it.” - Rick Perry, on the three... I mean two reasons the press believed that Perry's wife Anita thinks abortion is a woman's right.

The real reason, of course, is that when asked about abortion, Anita Perry said "I see it as a woman's right." And then later, when asked for clarification, she didn't contradict herself and expressed discomfort with the recent Texas abortion law.

So yes, the press "pounced". Because Rick Perry has done everything short of stationing volunteer militias along pregnant womens' borders to force them to carry their babies to term. And his wife maybe not being so thrilled with that on account of her having, for non-Austin parts of Texas, a disproportionate amount of empathy? That's news. And also hilarious. And of course her husband condescendingly put her in her place. That's the job she signed up for when she married Rick Perry. Hope the benefits are worth it.