Archive - Nov 9, 2013

Three More of These Left

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Memo to Fox News commenters: YOU ARE OBVIOUS BUT FUNNY.

Only three more bonus columns to go! If you weren't reading this site around a year ago, basically, I Interbegged for hosting costs, made the hosting costs, offered to do a bonus column for every twenty bucks over the hosting costs, made an embarrassing shit-ton beyond that given what I actually do here, and scheduled out the bonus columns for basically every three weeks of the year.

Anyway, you'd think, with such a limited number of bonus IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS available to me, I'd cherish them and not squander them, but fuck it. Fox News comments thread on the retracted CBS Benghazi interview with the fake Rambo-type who's been selling a fake story of-personal bravery and Obama incompetence that's had the right at full pants mast for weeks. Because HILARIOUS.

"the mistake was that 60 minutes got a call from the White House now their in damage control trying to figure out how to spin how it was all just a big mistake and the guy was talking out his ears" - "resevoirdog".

I hope this kind of thing never gets old for you, because it will never get old for me. I love everything about this, from the stubborn insistence that the liberal mainstream press must have been threatened into complicity, the anatomically-inaccurate non-sequitur that ends it, and of course, the misspelling of "reservoir" in the username. Just try not to think that this is what we're locked in a 50-50 death struggle with in nearly every election.

"No ground support/No air support/Cables ignored from a ambassador from a hot zone/The Libyans did not even come to those Americans aide/Sure does seem like/Something/Was going on there/Hence the smuggling weapons to the Syrians/Team Obama did not want anyone to see/What was going on/At all costs/Those Americans were tortured before they were murdered/America set Libyans free/Look how they repaid the US." - "acarl007", who is either the seventh A Carl on Fox News, or he's A Carl with a license to kill. Either is terrifying.

What's great about this is that it starts out as the usual list of fake wingnut complaints about the fake Benghazi scandal, then quickly devolves into free verse. Yes, in the original post, every single thing between slashes was its own separate double-spaced line. It's like a haiku for someone who really, really can't count to five. Or seven. Or five.

Also, "smuggled weapons to the Syrians" is like the perfect wingnut koan. I've never heard this one before, but I can immediately extrapolate how the truth devolved into this through Comment Thread Telephone.

"I believe this man's account of what happened before I would ever believe ANY news source! All news sources are in the back pocket of the Obama administration." - "carolinasistah".

First, lest you forget, this was posted in the comment thread of Fox News, which is still, technically, under current FDA guidelines, a "news source". Second, I'm betting she learned about this man's account from a news source, because the only other way to have seen it would have been to read an entire book. A book that's now not even for sale anymore because the guy who wrote is probably a big stinky liar.

"CBS another propaganda arm of this white house muddying the waters on Benghazi what a surprise. The MSM works for the liberal agenda and this is just step one in the ongoing process to get Killary Clinton into the white house." - "AREYOUKIDDINGUS", kidding us.<<<

Remember, this whole thing is about how 60 Minutes, another propaganda arm of the White House, was correcting a story critical of the Obama administration's response to Benghazi that aired on 60 Minutes, another propaganda arm of the White House. How does that make sense? It doesn't have to. It's the bottom half of the Fox Internet. And some of them vote, if they can figure out how that weird knob on their front door works.