Archive - Jul 18, 2013

Puttin' On The Ritz

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Memo to Creepy-Ass Crackas: GET OVER IT.

So yesterday, in and amongst the giant screaming pile of racist shit being spewed by Geraldo Rivera, Tucker Carlson, and Ted Nugent, I mentioned that Ted Nugent's claim that Trayvon Martin was a "racist" warranted further exploration, and it does.

You see, during the trial, a friend of Martin's admitted that he said, on the phone to her, that a "creepy-ass cracker" was following him, largely on the basis that a creepy-ass cracker was following him.

Now, to understand what happened next, we have to back up a bit and understand the mental state of racist wingnuts prior to the Great Cracker Reveal.

For a couple of decades, racist wingnuts have been the victims of what they call "political correctness", or the "language police". See, the way it works is, if you say something that reveals that you're a bit of an unreconstructed racist, sexist, or general bigot, that bigotry earns you criticism in the public sphere.

Because these people are completely lacking in self-awareness, they completely strip out the middle part and decide that they're being yelled at for using a word. Then they claim that freedom of speech means you can't be yelled at for using a word, ergo they are victims of oppression.

Now, wingnuts are spiteful creatures, and their response to perceived injustice and oppression is to make damn sure they can be unjust and oppress too. Which brings us back around to Trayvon Martin using the word "cracker".

See, "cracker" has two syllables, around six letters, ends in "er", and is sometimes used to describe people of a Caucasian complexion. So a bunch of white people who've gotten in trouble for using a two-syllable, around six-letter word ending in "er" to describe people of an African complexion figure they should be able to get people in just as much trouble for saying "cracker" as they got in for saying "nigger".

That, of course, is not how it works. Nobody calls "cracker" the "c-word", partly because its historical usage doesn't render it unspeakable and partly because it's nowhere near a bad enough word to unseat the other "c-word".

But Trayvon Martin used a "racial slur", and that makes him a "racist", and that makes him as bad or worse than every white person who uses an ethnic slur against black people, and much worse than people who use thinly veiled racist language like calling Jesse Jackson a "pimp" and "hustler".

And since, by this logic, Trayvon Martin is a racist, it's OK to be OK that he's dead. You know, like it was with Strom Thurmond. Only different, because Strom Thurmond was a segregationist and Trayvon Martin was murdered for suspicion of wielding a deadly candy.

But all that matters is that Ted Nugent's been called a racist on account of being a racist, so if he gets to call a black person racist, in his mind it evens the score and nullifies his racism. And trust me, having spent plenty of time looking at the reactions to the verdict, Nugent is nowhere near alone.