You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Archive - Jul 27, 2013
Memo to Ken Fredette, James Taranto, and Chris Cuomo: SHUT YOUR PENIS UP.
For today's bonus edition of IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS, I think we're going to let the men explain things to us. Because men, being men, understand these things, while women, being women, need men to explain things to them. Lots of men know this. Lots of women disagree with this, which is why these men have to keep explaining it. Cases in point:
"From the other side of the aisle I hear the conversation being about 'free this is free, we need to take it and it's free and we need to do it now' and that's sort of the fundamental message that my brain receives. Now, my brain being a man's brain sort of thinks differently, because I say, well, it's not if it's free is it really free because I say in my brain there's a cost to this." - Maine legislator Ken Fredette, mansplaining why it's not a good idea to give more poor people health coverage.
Well, it's free to the people not paying for it, which is good, since the people not paying for it need it to not die and the people who need it to not die don't have any fucking money.
But yes, there is a cost to the Medicaid expansion. There's also a cost to not expanding Medicaid. There's a cost to everything. One cost is a little bit of taxes, the other cost is poor people vomiting blood in the street. We know what your "man brain" prefers, but "man" is not in fact a synonym for "sociopath", except on Wall Street and in the GOP, so maybe stop tarring the rest of us with your lack of empathy just because we both have wangs.
"Lt. Gen. Susan Helms is a pioneering woman who finds her career stalled because of a war on men—a political campaign against sexual assault in the military that shows signs of becoming an effort to criminalize male sexuality." - Wall Street Journal columnist James Taranto, explaining to women in the military what sexual assault is.
Taranto is coming to the defense of Helms because she granted clemency to an officer convicted of aggravated sexual assault. Notice the word "convicted". Taranto disagrees with the verdict because it was only a little bit date rapey, so he approves of the clemency that overrided the conviction.
Because if a man feels up a woman, and the woman says she doesn't like it, and the man gets in trouble, that's "criminalizing male sexuality". Now, the way I see it, there are two types of men. Men who have led their whole lives living with their male sexuality in such a way that they've never, ever feared it being criminalized, and men like James Taranto, who apparently have not, but would still rather you not think of them as rapists, if you don't mind.
"All that energy to avoid the vote. Why not spend the time trying to compromise and figure out the bill in the first place?" - CNN's Chris Cuomo, on Wendy Davis' Texas abortion filibuster.
Chris Cuomo ostensibly hosts a morning show on CNN, which is ostensibly a national cable news network which has been around for over 30 years and would thus ostensibly be aware of the abortion debate, and thus should not be this ostensibly fucking stupid.
Why can't this woman just seek compromise on abortion restrictions instead of trying to delay the vote! After all, if there's one thing we've learned from the pro-life movement, it's that they accept a reasonable compromise keeping abortion safe and legal and then go away and never try to raise the issue again.
But why should Chris Cuomo let facts like that get in the way of his gently chastising a women for overstepping her bounds and being unreasonable? After all, that's what men are for.