Archive - 2013

December 21st

Greetings, Duck Defender!


Odds are, you were given this link because, somewhere on the Internet, you defended Phil "Duck Commander" Robertson. Congratulations! You now tacitly agree with the following things that, according to the GQ interview, the Duck Commander actually believes:

  • Homosexuality is a sin.
  • Men should logically choose to have sex with women because a vagina feels better on the penis than a man's anus does.
  • Black people were happier picking cotton in segregated, Jim Crow-era Louisiana than they are now, because welfare and entitlements ruined everything.
  • Societies without Jesus do horrible things, unlike societies with Jesus. Examples include the Nazis and the "Shintos".
  • The following sins are all equally bad. Homosexuality. Bestiality. Getting drunk. Promiscuity. Male prostitution (not female). Worshipping idols. Terrorism. Greed. Lying. Fraud.

That's what Duck Commander got in trouble for saying, so if you stand behind Duck Commander, those are the statements you're supporting. Not just the first one, all of them. And you're welcome to do that, but the person who linked you to this post thought you might want to be fully aware of what you were supporting.

Happy Holidays, from we here at You Are Dumb to you, fuckwit.