Archive - Jan 15, 2014


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Memo to Mary Fallin, Art Laffer, and John Boehner: YOU ARE DUMB.

There was going to be a theme today, but then a critical news item happened that demanded comment even though it disrupted the all-too-common theme of our continued need to listen to people without even the slightest shred of a clue, but fuck it. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"I am disappointed in the judge's ruling and troubled that the will of the people has once again been ignored by the federal government." - Oklahoma governor Mary Fallin, who has a straight sad.

Seriously, Oklahoma's going to get gay marriage? Through the courts, obviously, since Mary Fallin, like a majority of bigoted panhandlers, thinks the rights of minorities get to be trampled on by the "willl of the people", but I would have put Oklahoma somewhere between #46 and #50 on my informal list of states getting gay marriage.

I mean, I know the pace of change is accelerating, but if my state only ends up getting gay marriage less than a year before Oklahoma, my position of moral superiority might be slightly threatened. Not VERY threatened, mind you, since most of my state outside the 494-694 loop are savages and philistines, but still. Oklahoma?

“The minimum wage makes no sense whatsoever to me. Honestly it’s just the teenage — Black Teenage Unemployment Act." - Reagan economist Arthur Laffer, on Fox News.

Arthur Laffer is the patron saint of trickle-down economics, so a lot of things clearly make no sense whatsoever to him. Except, you know. A touch of good old-fashioned 1980s Republican racism.

Unfortunately, thanks in no small part to the economic policies of Arthur Laffer, minimum-wage jobs aren't being taken up by teenagers, black or otherwise. They're being taken up by people trying to survive and live off them, which is borderline impossible at 40 hours a week, if they can get that, which they usually can't. But despite all that, we're apparently going to keep listening to Arthur Laffer, because competence is not a requirement for punditry.

“We have enough regulations on the books. What the administration ought to be doing is doing their jobs. Why was this plant not inspected since 1991?” John Boehner, mendacious, incompetent, or both.

Competence is clearly not a requirement for Speaker of the House, either. If John Boehner didn't know that the reason the West Virginia chemical tanks that leaked and spilled licorice-scented coal-washing chemicals into the water supply of most of West Virginia didn't get inspected because loopholes in regulations meant it didn't have to be, then he's incompetent. And if he did know, then he was lying.

And really, does it matter? If he didn't know, and found out seconds before his press conference, you know he wouldn't have changed a single fucking word, because he's a Republican and Republicans hate regulations unless they're onerous ones designed to fuck over abortion clinics and unions. You know, important things, not like clean drinking water.