Archive - Jan 23, 2014

Old Yeller (R-AZ)

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Memo to John McCain: ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS?

I think it's well established that I don't like John McCain. Never have. The man parlayed his POW status and carefully constructed "maverick" image into a completely unearned position of media respect and a failed presidential bid. Without him, Sarah Palin would have languished in obscurity, which is reason enough to dislike him.

But I always thought of him as a shrewd asshole, not a crazy idiot. Bit of a temper, yes, that he gets away with because of the phrase "after all he's been through", but politically deliberate and intentional. If you'd told me, even a year ago, that I'd be in the position of writing a column where him saying something crazy-stupid reminded me of a couple of other crazy-stupid things he'd said in the past few months, I'd have been really surprised. Yet here we are.

It started back in the glorious days of the nuclear option, 2013 edition. After being the ringleader of what seemed to be dozens of "gangs" of senators striking meaningless deals to keep obstructing the Senate after promising they wouldn't obstruct the Senate, John McCain told Harry Reid on the Senate floor that he was going to "kick the crap out of" him. And while I personally think a Senate that operated under Thunderdome rules would be preferable to the current system, that's still fucking crazy.

Fucking crazier is that the media was able to report on this comment because, apparently, McCain, to steal a page from Romney's immigration plan, "self-reported" the statement. Which means not only did he say it, he thought it would make him look good if everyone knew he said it.

This is a man who, six years ago, had the entire DC press corps eating out of his hand, almost literally. Reporters were swinging on a tire swing at a backyard barbecue at the McCain ranch, for fuck's sake. Now he's alerting the media every time he gets all fifth grade playground on the Senate Majority Leader? Nutso.

Then he jumped all over the right-wing freakout over Obama shaking hands with Raul Castro at the Mandela funeral. Traditionally, reinterpreting presidential politeness as evidence of treason has been the bailiwick of teabaggers and windowsill-lickers. But John McCain decided to helpfully remind us that "Neville Chamberlain shook hands with Adolf Hitler", not only placing himself firmly amongst the windowsill-lickers, but doing so in the tritest, most hacky way possible.

But his Lon Cheney transformation from elder statesman and tire-swing maestro into frothing tricorner-hat Town Hall commenter peaked this week, Apparently miffed at Obama still hasn't gotten around to freedombombing Syria, dropped his own stinker into the debate. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"I thought Jimmy Carter was bad, but he pales in comparison to this president, in my opinion.”

WORSE THAN CARTER! I assume only his Senatorial decorum stops him from using the traditional terms "Barry" or "Obummer" instead of the President's actual name at this point. Jimmy Carter's bombed a LOT fewer people than Obama has, though. I'm not sure how that metric affects what shreds remain of McCain's judgment. Maybe someone should ask him. Albeit from far enough away that they don't get any spittle on them.