Archive - Jan 9, 2014

Shocked, I Tell You! Shocked!

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Memo to Chris Christie and his defenders: YOU ARE DUMB.

Oh, sweet schadenfreude. If the GOP's newest faux-moderate Real Guy golden boy, Chris Christie, gets taken down by the single most unnecessary scandal in political history, I will be as blissfully happy as politics can make me. Which still isn't all that happy, but I take what I can get.

I'm sure you know about it, because after weeks of farting around local news and the usual blogs, the story finally broke nationally yesterday with a smoking gun so smoking it's moving to Colorado just so it can smoke more legally.

Basically, Christie's aides, pissed that the Democratic mayor of Fort Lee, New Jersey, didn't endorse Christie for governor, got the Port Authority to close three lanes of the George Washington Bridge, fucking over the town and the mayor with epic congestion that affected, among other things, the first day of school.

Nobody could find a legitimate explanation for the closure. Nobody believed the Port Authority's bogus "traffic study" story. There was speculation, even suspicion, that it was political retaliation of the crude and petty type that is traditional in Jersey politics. But yesterday, the e-mails came out that not only proved that it was political retaliation, but exposed a callous, sociopathic tone not seen since Enron guys got caught joking about shutting off Grandma's power.

Christie, of course, is SHOCKED that his top level aides would have lied to him about not being involved in this UNACCEPTABLE behavior, and if you believe that, I've got three lanes of the George Washington Bridge to sell you. Cheap.

So Christie's in trouble, but not, of course, with everyone. The same crowd that vilified Christie for doing his job and working with Obama in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy are leaping to his defense now that he's caught fucking over a mayor from a different party for not endorsing him in an election he won handily and regardless of endorsements. See what I mean about it being a pointless scandal? They got nothing from this except exacting petty revenge by inconveniencing regular citizens, including schoolkids, which they rationalized by deciding the kids' parents all voted for Christie's opponent, Barbara Buono.

But Christie's defenders took to the comment thread of the Wall Street Journal anyway, blaming Hillary Clinton for planting the e-mails, saying this is no different from the disruptions caused by transit union strikes, or, most often, expressing a view put forth so... eloquently? By one Charles Crowder. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"So let’s review, two aids for Governor Christie are in essence fired for their involvement in closing lanes and Christie is to blame but those involved in the IRS, Bengasi, and NSA scandals aren’t punished and Obama had nothing to do with them????"

Well, Obama had nothing to do with the IRS scandal because that ended up being fake. Benghazi, or "Bengasi", wasn't an actual scandal either. I'll grant the NSA thing, but if we stopped prosecuting every crime just because a bigger crime was taking place elsewhere unprosecuted, we'd have to eliminate the entire criminal justice system.

But by far, my favorite comment is from Steven Griset, who posed the most insightful question of all:

"How cares"

How cares indeed. I guess we'll all see how cares as this plays out.