Archive - Apr 2014

April 29th

She Earned It

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Memo to Rick Santorum, Donald Trump, and, yes, Sarah Palin: YOU ARE DUMB.

I just can't quit them. And, in my defense, they just won't go away. Even the ones I swore I was done with, except under special circumstances. Which, in the case of Grizzly Cunt, just happened. They will always be IDIOTS, and they will find a way to top themselves and SAY THE DAMNEST THINGS!

"Look, I thought I could have won last time," he said. "I'm convinced. You know I asked one of the Obama minions who were running the campaign 'Hey, why didn't you guys help me? I was up there battling Romney and all these folks at MSNBC were saying wouldn't this be great if Santorum were the nominee, why didn't you help me? Why didn't you go out and bang me a little a bit, hit me you know, as being too conservative? And the consensus was, 'We didn't want you, because of this.'" - Rick Santorum, giving me hope for the future.

Media, remember this in 2016. Rick Santorum wants you to bang him a little bit. Bang him until Santorum is on everyone's lips. I know some of you might think that "santorum" thing is getting old. You are wrong. Not as wrong as Santorum, but wrong nonetheless.

Anyway, this quote bodes very well for 2016, because either it happened, and Santorum actually believed what these crazy "minions" told him, or he's making shit up in a really obvious manner, and will get busted on it at least three times before the New Hampshire primaries. Oh, and "this" was his new book that didn't exist in 2012, but I'll be gracious and assume Santorum meant the ideas IN that book, because that's even more laughable.

"It's terrible. He got set up by a very, very bad girlfriend, let's face it. She’s called the girlfriend from hell, but what he said was terrible and despicable and a very strong action's going to be taken.” - Donald Trump (first half), Donald Trump's savvy advisor (second half).

Now, I know Donald Trump is understandably sensitive to the idea of being set up by a golddigging mistress, but hey, let's take that as a given. Let's say that Donald Sterling no longer needs to worry about who goes to basketball games, since he can't go to basketball games anymore and won't have a basketball team soon BECAUSE a horrible person, a girlfriend from hell, set him up. And? Who gives a fuck?

Now, I might, just might, but not really, take Donald Trump seriously if he, or any of the other people making this argument, cared about the methods or sources that led to actionable information at any time in the past. You know, when we were torturing people. Paid mistress goads you into saying things that line up perfectly with your historical actions against people of color? OUT OF BOUNDS. Waterboarding? Well, now that I mention it...

"If I was in charge, they would know, waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists." - Sarah Palin, somehow managing to clear my Sarah Palin Inclusion Hurdle by a good 300 feet.

The classic quote about obscenity is that I can't tell you what it is, but I know it when I see it. And I see it in this quote. In every possible way. Ethically obscene, morally obscene, even theologically obscene. Her believing this is obscene. Her not believing it, but knowing she can give a crowd of morons freedom-boners by saying it in front of them is also obscene.

Cliven Bundy got discredited for saying things that everyone called "reprehensible". Donald Sterling lost his team for saying things that everyone called "despicable".

And those things were reprehensible and were despicable. But I'd argue that what Palin said is a solid order of magnitude worse. Sadistic, sociopathic zealotry at its worst. I know it's her job to say shit like this now, but even so, it doesn't get much more appalling than this. Where's her two and a half million dollar fine?