Archive - Mar 2017


March 28th

Unsubtle Dickery

« March 2017 »

Memo to Sean Spicer, Bill O'Reilly, and Sean Spicer: KEEP IT UP, ASSHOLES.

I will say, in a vacuum isolated from all the incredible damage they're doing to the country and its citizens, the Trump administraion is fascinating to watch from a human behavior standpoint. The things they do and don't do, and the things their allies do and don't do, don't follow any predictable pattern or strategy. It's just a bunch of IDIOTS SAYING THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"April, hold on, it seems like you're hell-bent on trying to make sure that whatever image you want to tell about this White House stays. I'm sorry, please stop shaking your head again. - Sean Spicer, whose head can't shake due to the thickness of his fucking neck.

If the Trump administration meets its downfall sooner rather than later, it'll ultimately not be because they're dicks, but because they're unsubtle dicks. At every briefing, Sean Spicer tries to pretend that the Russia thing has been settled, even though every day brings new revelations that tell us there's something there. What it is, we don't know yet, but whatever it is, it's bad enough to warrant a clumsy cover-up.

All of this makes Sean Spicer testy, and we all know how much trouble out of control testes can get into. He lashed out at a veteran black female reporter for the horrible crime of visibly disbelieving his bullshit, a reaction you'd think he'd have gotten used to by now. But no. He's a dick, he's an unsubtle dick, and as the pressure increases, he will not do better. Even on a good day he can't go two sentences without fuckbotching at least one word, an odd trait in a press secretary. When he breaks, the video will live forever.

"I didn't hear a word she said. I was looking at the James Brown wig." - Serial racist and Fox News Sex Offender Before Being A Fox News Sex Offender Was Cool Bill O'Reilly, on Rep. Maxine Waters.

Since we're talking about Bill O'Reilly, I'm contractually obligated to remind you that he went to a restaurant with a largely black customer base and was shocked that the customers were civilized normal humans. That he somehow hasn't stopped being a huge fucking racist thus does not come as a huge surprise.

But, as we've seen, Fox News has, more so than at any point in its history, decided that its job is to protect the shitty Republican president by any means necessary. And the president knows it, which is why he tweets at his followers to watch the Fox News show that's currently carrying his water. So what you're seeing from Bill O'Reilly is just further proof that the Trump water Fox likes carrying best is recycled, and can be traced all the way back to Southern fire hoses in the mid-60s.

"While we are on the topic, there has been a rush to judgment in a lot of other cases when it comes to, in particular, the anti-Semitic discussion, where people have jumped to conclusions about denouncing people on the right." - Spicy Boy, refusing to condemn a white supremacist for murdering a black man with a sword.

This is what I mean by unsubtle dickery. As with the murders in Canada, the Trump administration could happily go out there and condemn all the hate crimes in the world in no uncertain terms, and their buddies like David Duke and Stormfront would understand, as they have with Republican administrations in the past, that this charade is necessary to keep up appearances. But they can't, won't, and don't.

I mean, they're used to lying. They do it constantly. So why can't they lie here? Is it because their racism is so strong that they can't bring themselves to pretend not to be? Are they afraid that the Pandora's Box they've opened, winning an election basically on the giddy feeling white people get when they don't get in trouble for being openly racist, will slam shut on them if they start speaking in code again? Or are they just a bunch of unsubtle dicks? Yes. All of the above.