Archive - Jun 2017

Date

June 29th

Life Comes At You Fast

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Memo to a Donald Trump, The New Muslim Ban, and Greta Van Susteren: YOU ARE DUMB.

Current events! They sure are current, aren't they? They're so current that two thirds of the way through the column, a news story can pop up that changes the course of the column and demolishes any chance at a central theme I could use in an introduction! SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

The harm that Donald Trump can do to me is much, much less than the harm he can do to others. But I hate him just a tiny bit more today for making Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski more sympathetic, and I hate him for what I'm about to say about his two tweets having a central thesis, because holy shit I'm about to talk about two. Trump. Tweets. Having a. Central. Thesis.

Because the central thesis of Trump's tweet, that Scarborough and Brzezinski are starfucking sycophants who jumped on board the Trump Sucks bandwagon pretty late in the game once the wind was firmly blowing in that direction is not without some basis in reality. But Trump's still worse, and in true Awful-Person-Awful-at-His-Job-fashion, executed the premise in the most tactless, offensive way possible. And now we've gotta go through the "pile of shit just vomited more shit and we are surprised" rigamarole. Yay!


In other "it's impossible for them not to be dicks" news, after the Supreme Court ruled that an incredibly narrow version of Muslim Ban 2.0 could go into effect (and, in the process, confirming everyone's suspicion that Gorsuch is a hack), the Trump administration immediately attempted to redefine the narrow version into as broad a version as possible, essentially saying that aunts, uncles, and grandmothers don't have bona-fide connections to their family members and thus can be banned, because there's nothing more dangerous than a brown grandma.

And yes, there's already another lawsuit, and yes, the lawsuit will probably succeed in time, but take this perfidy as yet another reminder that the reason they keep winning is that they never accept a loss. We may think Roe v. Wade is settled law, for example, but they refuse to recognize the very idea of settled law. And when we win a fight and rest, that's how we lose the next three fights and poor women end up giving birth because they can't drive to another fucking state. All victories are temporary. Taking them out of power is the least temporary, but it doesn't seem possible to keep them out of power, so we're stuck with this bullshit.


I need to talk about Greta Van Susteren's shitball Villager MSNBC ad RIGHT NOW. I can't put it off any longer. Mainly because she just lost her show and her job at MSNBC which means the ad won't be run any more either, and that's a good thing, because it was fucking awful. In it, she extolled the virtues of Martin's Tavern in Gerogetown, where politicans sat, talked, drank, schemed, and brokered deals.

It was a perfectly horrible paean to the art of politics as "two old white males setting policy for the common people over drinks" that is at the heart of pure D.C. politics. A world where someone like Van Susteren can bounce around the ideological spectrum of cable journalism and still retain broad support, respect, and cultural cache because she moves in a world where "them" and "us" aren't defined by beliefs or advocacy, they're defined by social circles and acceptability as a dinner party guest. Fuck that noise.