Archive - Sep 2017

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September 30th

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Memo to Donald Trump: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ALREADY.

I have to start this column with a mea culpa. When I talked about the response to the Puerto Rico disaster last Wednesday, my opinion was based on two things. First, the mistaken impression that the Jones Act had already been waived at the time (it wouldn’t be waived for another two days), and two, press conferences and interviews I saw with various local officials, which painted a picture of “there are severe challenges, but everyone’s doing the best they can”.

What I learned, and what we all learned, over the weekend, is that those officials were talking about things the way they were because they were terrified of angering the petulant baby in charge of sending them help.

I want to be VERY clear about what happened here, because already, days after, the waters are being muddied about what happened in order to protect President Garbage from the consequences of being made entirely of garbage, and everyone who’s supporting him in Washington from the consequences of being associated with him. So, ACTUAL TWEET QUOTE TIME!

”The Mayor of San Juan, who was very complimentary only a few days ago, has now been told by the Democrats that you must be nasty to Trump. ...Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who are not able to get their workers to help. They.... ...want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort. 10,000 Federal workers now on Island doing a fantastic job.”

Right off the bat is further evidence that Trump sees everything in terms of how people treat him to his face. Everything. This is a thing we knew, but we assumed had limits, because it’s a thing, and most things have fucking limits. She was nice to him, then she called the response inadequate, and he turned on her.

Second, the idea that Democrats “got to” the mayor of San Juan and executed their daring plan to “make her be nasty to Trump”. This is madness on the face of it for a number of obvious reasons, but I’ll give you one more. I’ve followed the Democrats for a long time. Voted for them, even. But they have the Machiavellian instincts of a fucking CARE BEAR. They can barely bring themselves to actually exploit corruption and rank incompetence for political campaign. They’re not going to be working to invent it.

As for “poor leadership”, yes, it’s proving to be a bit difficult to get victims of the most devastating hurricane in American history to help the other victims of the most devastating hurricane in American history, since there’s no way to communicate with them, few clear roads for them to travel on, and no gas for them to drive on the roads if they’re cleared. The same complete devastation Trump cites to make his own response look good, he ignores to make the San Juan mayor look bad.

Also, any time a racist uses the word “community” at people of color, that’s a red flag. That’s some coded language there. Yes, “the community” helped with recovery in Texas and Florida, but it wasn’t the entire community by any means, and the destruction was an order of magnitude less, at least. The implication here is that Puerto Ricans are lazy, sitting on their hands, ungratefully waiting for the feds to come in and fix everything. An implication Trump’s racist base (now entirely redundant) seized on and has been amplifying all weekend, because they think that because they’re white, bought a box of seeds from Glenn Beck, and got a “tactical lighter” from late night TV, that they’d be singlehandedly rebuilding Puerto Rico by now.

This is some bullshit, folks. And the usual Trumpite responses of “when Trump is attacked, he attacks back” Morally, this defense is equivalent to “Look, whenever Trump hears the word ‘banana’, he takes out his penis” as an excuse for indecent exposure. Just because he has a specific indiscriminate response to a specific stimulus doesn’t make it appropriate every single fucking time he does it.

He’s garbage, and he’s never goint to stop being garbage, or even restrain or moderate his garbageness, no matter what happens or how many people are in danger, hurt, or dying. He’s not just awful, he’s uniquely awful, and this is why he and everyone associated with him should be pariahs to society going forward. Which means stop inviting them to the Emmys, fuckwits.