Archive - 2017

December 7th

The Changing Climate

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Memo to Al Franken, Trent Franks, and MSNBC: YOU ARE DUMB.

The new prevailing attitudes toward sexual harassment and misconduct are what I like to think of as the good kind of climate change. And like the bad climate change, it’s not without its victims. Let’s take a tour through the damage caused by the rising tide on SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

So, Al Franken announced his resignation. Which is fine. I mean, it’s not great. But under the circumstances, it’s fine. I didn’t want to lose Al Franken, but at the same time, I dont’t need to keep him. I could have done with a bit of a less defiant tone in the speech, too. It’s a tricky line to walk, denying some of the allegations against you while bemoaning the fact that nobody’s believing Trump and Moore’s accusers. But there’s good news! We can move on to talking about Trent Franks!


The Arizona congressman pulled a Matt Lauer, ending up unemployed at pretty much the same time we learned about the harassment allegations against him. And they gotta be bad. All the signs are they’re gonna be bad.

First, he resigned immediately. Way faster than Conyers or Franken and of course, infinitely faster than Trump and Moore. Second, he and a bunch of other House Republicans prayed together on the floor of the House of Representatives. A lot about politics has changed over the past year or two, but one thing that will never change is the hypocrisy that lurks behind any bullshit show of piousness like this.

But most importantly, Franks’ cover story is that he made staffers “uncomfortable” talking about fertility and surrogacy. Which is a lie carefully designed to appeal to self-righteous, baby-making social conservatives. It’s also not something anyone would resign over. If that were actually what happened, Franks could weather the storm EASILY. But he’s concerned about being tried in the media with “sensationalized” stories. Which means the actual stories are SENSATIONAL. Please, please, please let it involve jerking off into a plant, which technically could be described as “about fertility”.


When the Franken news broke, one of the first things I warned against is that the Right would weaponize this shit. Well, I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is, their first attempt was unsuccessful. The bad news is, before it was unsuccessful, it was successful.

Mike Cernovich, a racist wingnut slug and Pizzagate provocateur, decided to try to use the current climate to take out a left-wing target. That target? Sam Seder, comedian, occasional Bob’s Burger’s voice actor, and liberal podcaster who appears from time to time as an MSNBC Pundit. Cernovich and his slime trail of followers dug up a seven-year-old sarcastic tweet mocking Hollywood’s acceptance of Roman Polanski, and pretended to get outraged over it.

This led to MSNBC dropping him as a contributor for like a day and a half before the entire Internet yelled at them for being fucking stupid and treating Cenrovich and his followers as if they had any kind of credibility whatsoever. Then MSNBC hired him back and admitted they’d fucked up.

But the fact that the ostensibly “liberal” news network would fall for this blatantly obvious, minstrel-show version of the legitimate outrage at, say, Sean Hannity promoting conspiracy theories and actually supporting child molesters should be terrifying to us all, because it means the people running MSNBC are fucking dumb. I mean, dumber than we thought they were every time we turned on “Morning Joe”. Which is very dumb indeed.