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October 3rd, 2018

Fuck The Flakes

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Memo to Jeff Flake, et al: YOU ARE THE PROBLEM.

Pretending, for a moment, that there’s one problem, and not the writhing Rat King of problems besetting us at this point in time; that problem is summed up in Jeff Flake.

On 60 Minutes, Jeff Flake was asked if he would vote against Kavanaugh if Kavanaugh is shown to have lied to the Senate. Jeff Flake said “yes”. This was a lie.

I know this was a lie because 60 Minutes airs on Sunday nights, and by Sunday night, everyone knew for three days that Kavanaugh lied his ass off about a bunch of stuff.

He lied about how much he drank, he lied about the consequences of that drinking, he lied about the meanings of “Devil’s Triangle”, “Boof”, “Renata Alumnus”, and “FFFF”

What do all these lies have in common? They all serve to paint a fake picture of Kavanaugh in high school and college, to make it seem like he’s less like the kind of frat boy asshole who would do the things he’s been accused of doing. They’re very specific lies calibrated to tweak his image.

If Jeff Flake, or Susan Collins, or Lisa Murkowski, or any of the so-called “Republican moderates” we’re supposed to think still have a conscience left to vote on actually gave a shit about lying to the Senate, they’d say “Kavanaugh lied to the Senate, so I’m voting ‘no’.” But they haven’t done that.

If any of them had real concerns about Kavanaugh’s temperament, or the temperament of the man nominating him, or the specific actions of Donny Weird-Dick, mocking and lying about Ford’s testimony at one of his many stupid fucking rallies, they’d do something about it and say they were a “no” on Kavanaugh. But they haven’t done that.

The same could be said of a couple of red-state Democrats who are still undecided, but their entire careers are based around political convenience, not principle, and so there’s at least no lying or hypocrisy involved, just shittiness from shitty people.

But the Handful of Moderates, we’re told, are the last vestige of that magical time before Trump won the nomination, when Republicans were a bunch of perfectly nice people who had differing views about top marginal tax rates, and not a ravening mob of racists and sexists. They’re supposed to, you know. Care. And do the right thing, which is to say, vote against things that make centrists slightly uncomfortable.

But they’re not doing that. Even the ones who have nothing politically to lose. It’s almost like the spirit of John McCain is speaking to them, telling them in a netherworldly quaver to talk a big game but almost never actually do anything.

And the press eats it up for the same reason they always do and the same reason I’ve told you about in the past. If a “moderate” Republican puts a check on the extremes of an openly racist and misogynist Republican Party, the system they’re part of and the system they rely upon to survive and the system that’s the only system they know or understand is working the way it should and everything is fine and we’ll all be OK.

And if they don’t, the fact that we all spent a month trying to convince them that they should and speculated about whether or not they would and almost succeeded still means the system is working pretty much the way it should and everything is pretty much fine and we’ll all be pretty much OK.

And they’ll keep doing it, over and over again, until it’s their own stuff that’s been set on fire.