Yoshi! And Some Stupid People, I Guess.

« June 2009 »

Memo to John Thune, Steve King, and NOM: COUNT YOURSELVES LUCKY.

I'm in a good mood. Why am I in a good mood? Because they're making Super Mario Galaxy 2, dammit. And as much as I love hating on the fools of the world, I also love Super Mario Galaxy. So if my vitriol is a little less pointed, you'll know why. Luckily, I am attempting to compensate by finding some particularly vitriol-inspiring IDIOTS who have SAID THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"I know the administration is being pushed, but I think it would be a bridge too far right now. It seems to me this first pick is going to be a kind of important one, and my hope is that he’ll play it a little more down the middle. A lot of people would react very negatively." - Alabama congressman John Thune, on rumors that Obama would pick a gay Supreme Court justice.

I had this quote, from back in early May, marked because it was offensively homophobic and stupid. Particularly the assumption that a gay Supreme Court justice wouldn't be "down the middle". Hello? As deluded as they are, the Log Cabin Republicans do, you know. EXIST. But I want to highlight it now because it's also incredibly wrong AND politically disingenuous.

Wrong, because Obama didn't nominate a gay judge, and disingenuous, because Obama DID nominate someone a little more down the middle, and guess what happened? A lot of people reacted very negatively! What were the odds? Obama could have picked a vat-grown clone of Antonin Scalia for the job, and the usual subjects would have still gone apeshit just because Obama wanted him for the job. Given that, if I were in Obama's shoes, I'd have nominated a lesbian Muslim dominatrix who'd spent her career working for the ACLU and ACORN, just so John Thune and most of the rest of Alabama could have had a massive fucking coronary upon hearing the news. But I guess that's not post-partisan.

"If they’re one of God’s children let’s protect them equally and when you go down the path of special protected status, then you end up with the sacred cows walking around the street that have another extra shield around them that actually would put the victimizer’s focus on someone else. I think it’s unequal protection of the law that results from it." - Iowa Rep. Steve King, because it's been too long since I've features something crazy this particular epic shithead has said.

Steve King must be seriously put out by legal gay marriage in Iowa. He must go to bed every single night afraid that he's going to wake up spooning a big hairy dude. And even more terrified that he'll like it. Because this is some serious fucking paranoia, here. People who commit hate crimes and who get convicted of hate crimes are not people who are looking to beat anyone up, and settle on the woman, the gay guy, or the dude in the wheelchair because they're an easy mark. They are not people who would think about hate crimes laws and instead decide to beat up an upstanding straight white Iowa male like Steve King. They are people who want to terrorize a minority because they're a stupid bigot. Like Steve King.

"CALL YOUR SENATOR! SAY NO TO SAME SAME SEX MARRAIGE!" - The National Organization for Marriage, better known as NOM, whose followup ad to the much-mocked "Gathering Storm" closed with this title card.

NOM, I beg you. Never stop opposing same same sex marriage. There is no greater ally to homosexuals in this country than an opponent who can't be bothered to proofread their chyron. When a word is in your organization's name, is the concept you are nationally organizing around, and is something you swear is the most important thing in the world and must be protected from icky homos at all costs, you simply cannot undermine your own efforts more effectively than by misspelling "marriage".

Seriously. NOM as much as you possibly can. A few more NOMs and not only will gay marriage be legal in Alabama, but John Thune will be first in line at the courthouse.