The Classics

« July 2010 »

Memo to Michele Bachmann, Steve King, and the Catholic Church: YOU ARE CLASSICALLY DUMB.

The week of easy targets continues. I need the stupidity equivalent of comfort food. Old foes, ancient tropes, the morons and tardons that make up the very atoms of You Are Dumb Dot Net. So, without further ado, let's explore some pure classic IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"I also don’t think it was a a good signal for the president to give $400 million in aid to Gaza. He had a choice to make last week. The president had a choice between standing with Benjamin Netanyahu, or standing with Ahmadinejad and Hamas. Hamas is a terrorist organization. This should not have been a difficult choice, but the President chose to stand with Hamas and then they were rewarded this week with $400 million in aid. Gee, you don’t think that will embolden them to take future aggressive actions against Israel, do you?" - Batshit Bachmann, on Fox Business.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 2010 remix edition of "Palling Around With Terrorists". It's got a good beat, in that it would be good if someone beat it. With a large stick. And a shoe. Especially when you supply the context that the "aggressive action" Hamas was being rewarded for was... having that ship in the Gaza flotilla boarded by Israel. Note to Michele - having a foreign maid doesn't make you an authority on foreign aid.

Although I will give her credit for one thing. If there's one thing that hasn't been tried to bring about Middle Eastern peace, it's mindless dichotomies in which one side is pure good and the other side is pure evil. If only a few more people in that region "thought" like Bachmann, the entire area would be as peaceful as a hundred-mile-wide glass bowl.

"I'm offended by Eric Holder and the president also, their posture. It looks like Eric Holder said that white people in America are cowards when it comes to race. The president has demonstrated that he has a default mechanism in him that breaks down the side of race on the side that favors the black person in the case of professor Gates and officer Crowley." - America's Stupidest Congresscritter, Steve King, on G. Gordon Liddy's radio show.

And speaking of an epic glazing-over, here's Steve King talking to G. Gordon Liddy. Between all the intellectually bankrupt and the morally bankrupt, it's a wonder the financial system didn't collapse. Again. Also, did Steve King wear an old suit coat to the show and find some wadded up talking points in the pocket? He can't still be all butt-hurt over Eric Holder's "cowards" comment, can he? His tiny brain can't even hold that many months worth of pretend offense.

"I don't want to overstate or understate our level of concern. We consider [birth control] an elective drug. Married women can practice periodic abstinence. Other women can abstain altogether. Not having sex doesn't make you sick." - Dierdre McQuade, of the Conference of Catholic Bishops.

The Catholics, as part of their centuries-long war on birth control, are trying to keep birth control from being covered as part of health care reform. And that's their reasoning. Everyone should have to follow one religion's twisted views on sex, deny themselves a bit of fun, and rely on the FUCKING RHYTHM METHOD, because doing so doesn't actually cause physical illness.

I love how, by attaching it to health care reform, they're actually making real, as official policy, the unofficial rule that has guided the Catholic Church since its inception. The amount you must follow the rules is inversely proportional to the amount of money or power you have. Poor women, even poor atheist women, can pay for their filthy unnatural "family planning" out of their ramen and peanut butter budget if they want to keep from getting pregnant so bad. Because the Catholic bishops say so, and the Catholic bishops don't have to worry about birth control, because if a ten-year-old boy got pregnant up the butt, it'd be a miracle and they'd become a saint or something.