If We Don't Like You, You Don't Count

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Memo to Barack Obama, Tom Cuccinelli, and Ron Randall: YOU ARE DUMB.

Let's take at minimum a pause from our look at Obama-era conspiracy theories to look at some good, old-fashioned demonization. Now, I'm not entirely opposed to demonization. Obviously. But I like to inject a certain amount of fairness into it. When I call someone an evil fucker, or I refer to a group of, say, teabaggers as scared white morons being led to the slaughter by wealthy overlords, I try to base it on demonstrable evidence.

But there are other kinds of demonization. There's a kind that denies your stated enemies their rights on the grounds that you just don't like them, for example. The adage that it's easy to protect the speech you like, the real challenge is protecting the speech you deplore? That applies to all the other amendments, and all the other parts of the First Amendment. And then there's a more banal kind of demonization that you kind of shove into the theme because you've been waiting a month to get around to yell at that quote. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"There has been a lot of obsession around this whole issue of when do we leave… By next year we will begin a process of transition. That doesn’t mean that we turn out the lights and slam the door behind us." - President Obama, about a month ago at the G20 meeting.

Fuck you. The reason we're obsessed with your deadline is because we know you don't want to keep it and we know you'll try to use terms like "process of transition" to claim that you've kept your word while keeping troops in Afghanistan as long as it takes to keep from being blamed for "losing" there. We know what's going on. We know Afghanistan is a clusterfuck. We know it even more now thanks to Wikileaks. Call us "obsessed" all you want, but when you go to Netroots Nation a month later and ask us "obsessed" folks to "hold you accountable", don't be surprised if we don't actually think you want that.

"State universities are not free to create any specially protected classes other than those dictated by the General Assembly. Your question is, why is that not a violation of the 14th Amendment’s equal protection clause. Frankly, the category of sexual orientation would never have been contemplated by the people who wrote and voted for and passed the 14th Amendment." - Virginia attorney general and known douchenozzle Tom Cuccinelli, explaining why his bigotry isn't unconstitutional.

Ah, the Coochinator. Still trying to keep Virginia's colleges and universities from extending protections to gay students. Why? Because he fucking hates gay people, that's why. He hates them so much he's projected that hate all the way back to the 18th Century, where he justifies his attitudes about homosexuality by insisting that some of the slightly more enlightened barbarians from 250 years ago shared his views.

Funny how that argument doesn't fly when you switch amendments from the 14th to the 2nd and you say the Founding Fathers wouldn't have contemplated assault rifles with armor-piercing bullets, doesn't it? I don't worship the FF's like the Republicans do, but unless you plan to pass an amendment excluding gays and lesbians from equal protection under the 14th, you're stuck with it. And if America's daddy figures were so awesome, and hated gay people so much, how did they manage to leave this loophole?

"I've been trying to learn about Sharia law. I've been trying to learn what it is: not good, if that's what's going on. You can even argue whether being a Muslim is actually a religion, or is it a nationality, a way of life, or a cult -- whatever you want to call it -- and we do protect our religions. But at the same time, this is something that we are going to have to face." - Tennessee Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey, ensuring the state he's running to lead remains the dumbest in the nation.

Gays and lesbians don't get the 14th because Cooch thinks they're icky. Muslims don't get the First because Ron Ramsey thinks they're a cult. You know, I don't like teabaggers, but I think they still have the right to assemble, and say racist shit, and demonstrate how stupid they are. I don't like Scientology, but just because it was made up sooner than the other religions doesn't mean it doesn't get to be a religion.

And I absolutely cannot fucking stand right-wing religious zealots from Tennessee who think you're free to worship any God you want as long as it's their god, but I wouldn't apply some kind of test to keep them from holding public office, because I'm not fucking allowed to. I can just hope that the people of Tennessee don't vote for him, and if they do vote for him, well, fuck it. He's the governor, and all I need to do is keep keeping my ass out of Tennessee. Problem solved, and nobody gets violated in the process.