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Memo to the Macy's boycotters: YOU ARE DUMB.

Ah, beautiful, downtown, San Antonio, Texas! Where the men are men, and the women are women, and any who dare to flaunt that rule have only the protection of a large multinational corporation to protect them from the slings and arrows of douchebaggery, Texas style.

Here's the deal. In a San Antonio Macy's, an employee tried to stop a transgender woman from entering a women's dressing room, because in the employee's eyes, that woman was a man. Macy's told her their policy was to let their trans customers use whatever dressing room they were comfortable with. The employee refused to abide by that policy, and was fired. And the usual suspects EXPLODED.

Persecution! Perversion! Poly-cotton blends! It's a situation tailor-made for people whose brains are stuck in 1957 to let the world know that this kind of unacceptable unacceptability is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. And so, to comment threads they ran in droves, making specious arguments filled with hate and stupidity.

There was the usual trans-hate:

"If SHE still had a swingy dingy between their legs SHE is still a MAN!"

Clearly, then, what Macy's needs to do is install backscatter machines in front of their changing rooms, so that staff can check each person entering for a swingy dingy between their legs. Since the machines have a history of being used by panicked people to add a laborious, intrusive security procedure in the face of an imaginary threat, this will be perfect for them.

The main argument across the board appears to be that now that men know that men passing as women are allowed into Macy's changing rooms, Macy's changing rooms will be rife with peeping Toms with hairy dicks. This is patently ludicrous. First, most modern dressing rooms have full-coverage doors. Even with the ones with calf-to-head doors, you have to make a concerted effort to see anything. And what are you going to see, at best? A Macy's shopper in a bra and panties.

Let's think about this for a second. Even assuming you shopped at thrift stores and discount shops, a dress, a wig, makeup, and shoes necessary to pretend to be transgendered is going to run you at least thirty bucks. You know what thirty bucks will buy you? One month of Internet access. You know what you can see with one month of Internet access? A hell of a lot more than five seconds of one woman in a bra and panties before you get hauled away by store security.

This isn't the fifties. Even if you have a very specific fetish for women in changing rooms, there's going to be an Internet site for that. People freaking out about this are like people freaking out at gay people in the shower. People whose spouses can barely stand to look at their stuff anymore, weeping and wailing over the fear that someone's going to pretend to be trans just to stare at them changing. GET OVER YOURSELVES.

Global warming is an elaborate fucking hoax, but men are totally going to learn to walk in heels so they can catch a glimpse of your Hanes For Her three-pack granties. That's rational risk assessment for you.

You know what we need right now? A voice of reason.

"The communist star as the MACY's Logo is no accident. The Communist takover talking points in the 60's was to normalize homosexualtiy, pornography, to break apart the traditional american family. (a infamous book, look it up). Looks like the communist are winning. The only problem is that look at the results of communism= Cuba, China, Russia= Great countries huh?????????"

Oh, sorry. Wrong file. I went looking for a voice of reason, and found a voice calling itself "mountainsurf" that is clearly off its meds. Sorry. Can't imagine how that could have happened.

I think we all remember Russia's now infamous stance on GLBT rights in the 60s and 70s, culminating in the opening of the raucous, gender-bending nightclub Glasnost in 1984 by Mikhailina Gorbachev in 1986. It was all downhill from there. Also, "mountainsurf", kudos for referencing "a" infamous book, telling us to look it up, and never actually saying what infamous book you're talking about. You're doing Texas proud.