Always Muck On The Bottom Of The Barrel

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Memo to Gabriel Amorth, Elena Babich, and ACT! For America: YOU ARE DUMB.

It's time to dig deep again, to the quotes that get buried by current events. The quotes that sink due to the sheer weight of their ignorance and hate, and form a scum at the bottom of the research pile that I occasionally need to scrape up. They are timeless, but they are still IDIOTS who SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS.

"Practicing yoga is Satanic, it leads to evil just like reading Harry Potter, In Harry Potter the Devil acts in a crafty and covert manner, under the guise of extraordinary powers, magic spells and curses. [Yoga leads to Hinduism and] all eastern religions are based on a false belief in reincarnation." - Gabriel Amorth, former Vatican exorcist.

Man, how the fuck can I get "former Vatican exorcist" on my resumé? I mean, other than actually doing exorcisms for the Vatican or lying on my resumé? Every time this crazy asshole says something, it gets reported. I actually thought I was going to have two quotes from this guy, because one site reported he went after yoga, and another site reported he went after Harry Potter. Lo and behold, ONE QUOTE. Astonishing.

I'm actually not sure what he's saying about Potter, and I don't know if it's innate incoherence or a bad translation. The traditional Jesus-freak busybody argument is that sorcery is witchcraft, witchcraft is Satanic, and reading is evil. But it sounds like Amorth is saying that Harry Potter is in fact being deceived by Satan into performing magic in the books themselves, which I think would at least settle the authorial-intent-versus-reader-interpretation argument once and for all.

Also, Yoga doesn't lead to Hinduism. Trust me. I live in America, and if yoga led to Hinduism, every fucking strip mall in the country would be a shrine to Ganesh. And if every downward-facing suburbanite eventually converted to a religion that moral actions had earthly consequences, we'd be a very different nation than we are now.

"“It’s very important not to draw attention to oneself too much. One of the books that I have starts like this: The issue of same-sex love is somewhat like the Jewish problem. When there are too many Jews — in every field of management, on television, in the arts, everywhere — it ends badly for Jews themselves. They [Jews] always make efforts to regulate this aspect.” - Russian politician Elena Babich, explaining that gays should stay quiet and closeted, lest they bring persecution on themselves like the Jews did.

This is why I'm glad I live in America, and not Russia. You wouldn't catch Rick Santorum, the anti-gay frontrunner for the GOP nomination for President*, saying something like that. All of the other candidates would immediately call him out for being weak on his support for Israel, and he wouldn't be the frontrunner anymore. He's got lots of ways of saying gays should hide themselves away and not insist on being public and equal without insulting Jewish people at the same time.

This quote, by the way, was in the context of a new Russian law that would fine people for "pro-gay propaganda". Which means that if Russia were one of the United States... they'd be Tennessee. I'll let Tennessee and Russia argue amongst themselves over which of them should feel more offended by the comparison.

"They don't value education in the same way we do. We celebrate birthdays, and they celebrate death anniversaries. They are the opposite of us. They celebrate death and we celebrate life... They have infiltrated our culture at every level... Slavery, murder, abuse of a child — all of that is legal under Islam, so it's protected... They're everywhere. They're like cockroaches." - statements made during a recent meeting of the St. Louis chapter of ACT! For America.

All but the last of those, by the way, were by chapter leader Liz Trent. The last was overheard in the audience by a reporter, because it was just slightly too rude to say in public.

Just a reminder that this shit runs deep and is ongoing. Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate birthdays either**, yet they get to go from door to door, spying on decent, honest Americans, with nobody even raising an eyebrow. Oh, and that slavery, murder, and child abuse thing? That was the hyperbolic ramblings of what Muslims would legally be able to do because a court struck down Oklahoma's ridiculous anti-Sharia law... law. Like I said, bottom of the fucking barrel.

*I'm going to keep saying that until all 300 million of you realize how fucking crazy that sounds.

**I did a bare minimum of research on this, and it seems like the birthday thing is a debated topic, that only really devout religion-nerds follow it, and that it's not actually because they celebrate death, it's because Muhammad never had a birthday party, so they don't either.