Let The Mocking Commence!

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Memo to Ben Shapiro, Chris Matthews, and Rand Paul: YOU CAN GET TREATED EVEN THOUGH YOUR CRAZY IS A PRE-EXISTING CONDITION.

So that thing happened that everyone wouldn't shut up about for the last two weeks, and well, it could have gone worse. I'm not a fan of the ACA, but only because it's a mediocre subset of much better reforms. But it would have been messy if it'd been struck down, so yay that.

And more importantly, hooray for the reactions, which are hilarious. So let's look at the reactions on SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY!

And we'll start with my favorite reaction of all, the unmitigated, conservative butthurt embodied perfectly by YAD regular Ben Shapiro, with the following tweet:

"This is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Dred Scott. This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration."

You hear that, America as we no longer know it? NO EXAGGERATION. None! Ben Shapiro doesn't fuck around. He tells it like it is. Individual liberty has been destroyed! Ben Shapiro has called the death of America, folks. Hope you enjoy your mandatory health coverage, which is almost as bad as being declared a non-citizen because of your skin color! No exaggeration!


That said, there's a small part of me that wishes John Roberts had sided with his conservative brethren. It's the part of me that watched Chris Matthews' hagiography of Roberts on Hardball yesterday.

Potato Head fluffed the shit out of Roberts, and it was as awful as you'd expect, except for the part where he talked about how the Catholic imperative for social justice dwarfed the left-right divide, and that was why fellow Catholic Roberts ruled the way he did.

That part was worse.

I mean, we're in the middle of the Fortnight For Freedom, or whatever the fuck it is, where Catholic "social justice" on health insurance means making sure women don't use it for their lady parts. So don't talk to me about social justice.


And no examination of ridiculous reactions would be complete without libertarianism's brightest scion, Rand Paul, who is clearly almost too intellectual for his own good. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare something to be ‘constitutional’ does not make it so. The whole thing remains unconstitutional."

You can't get much more libertarian than that, folks! Rand Paul knows you don't need some bloated, nine-man government committee to decide whether something is constitutional! You just need one man. A man like Rand. Who likes Rand.

Shrink the size of government, people! Restore freedom by appointing Rand Paul our Constitutional Overlord! I'm sure everything will be awesome after that.