All About The Mittjamins

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Memo to Mitt Romney: BACK TO THE GRIND, MOTHERFUCKER.

Yes, it's time for Mondays With Mitt. The theme song project has ground to a halt. Why didn't any of you mention that "Monday" and "Romney" don't rhyme? Months of work in the crapper. And I didn't even get paid.

But don't worry. Not getting paid isn't a mistake Mitt Romney and the Romney clan EVER make. Normally, on MWM, I use quotes to illustrate the awfulness of Romney, but today I'm going to use quotes. Specifically, price quotes.

$27,422.67:

That's how much Tagg Romney got paid for ten months of work for the Romney/Healey gubernatorial campaign. That'd be the ten months after they won the election.

Now, campaigns don't end on election day. Or even inauguration day. But there's not a shit-ton of work for campaigns at that point, and not a lot of positions available, and isn't it convenient that Tagg was the most qualified person for this job, especially since Tagg's sports ticket startup had failed around the same time?

$4.8 million:

That's the amount Mitt Romney would save if Mitt Romney were to be elected and enact Mitt Romney's tax plan.

Must be nice, eh? Mitt Romney's taxes, or lack thereof, are still a big issue, because, well, we don't know and he won't say. If he won't say, then he's either standing on an entirely new principle that no presidential candidate has stood on in decades, or he doesn't want us to know what's in them.

Which means, by the way, that it's even worse than the 15% effective rate he's already admitted to. The 15% rate you can only really get by being, essentially, filthy rich and idle. You know, maybe write a book or two to keep your name in the press between failed campaigns, but otherwise just sit on your ass, live off your investments, and fuck the IRS.

Mitt would pay even less, totally legally, if he got to write the laws, because, well, that's how Mitt Romney rolls.

$0.

That's the amount Mitt Romney thinks lazy black freeloaders booed him over. OK, fine. This is one that needs a real quote. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"If they want more stuff from the government, tell them to go vote for the other guy–more free stuff." - Romney, explaining to the faithful why he was booed by the NAACP the day before.

Now, I don't think Mitt Romney is a racist. Racism is a belief system, and apart from alleged Mormonism, Mitt Romney doesn't have a belief system. He believes what he needs to believe to get what he wants.

So if Mitt Romney wants to turn a negative (being booed at a public speech) into a positive, and if Mitt Romney has to race-bait with some welfare queen talk in front of a bunch of rich white assholes chipping in for the ultimate Rich White Asshole campaign, well, Mitt will play that card with a smile on his face and the Song of the South in his heart.

Because, well, he's kind of a dick.