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« December 2012 »

Memo to Tagg Romney, Anoka-Hennepin, and good old Steve King: YOU ARE DUMB.

It's Boxing Day, so while I sneak out to Best Buy for some cheap Apple scrip, enjoy this somewhat pugilistic take on a trio of quotes from America's inexplicable political elite. Or, using its nom de plume, IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"He wanted to be president less than anyone I've met in my life. He had no desire to... run. If he could have found someone else to take his place... he would have been ecstatic to step aside. He is a very private person who loves his family deeply and wants to be with them, but he has deep faith in God and he loves his country, but he doesn't love the attention." - Romney scion and nepotism scion Tagg Romney, lying.

But let's pretend this is true. Because there were at least eight ther people begging to take his place during the primary process, people who would have gladly done so if he'd dropped out, and who would have lost to Barack Obama too. For someone whose alleged only loves are God and country, it seems pretty narcissistic to think that Mitt Romney was the only person truly qualified to lose the election.

But hey, let's be generous. He didn't want the job. He didn't get the job. EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.

"Unfortunately, we could not appoint everyone who applied. We reviewed the applications thoroughly and worked hard to select committee members who would represent a broad cross-section of the community, being especially mindful of protected classes, gender balance, and religious affiliation." - Text of a form letter sent to Tammy Aaberg by the Anoka-Hennepin school district, which is putting together an anti-bullying task force.

Aaberg's qualification to serve on the board? Her son killed himself after being bullied. But Anoka-Hennepin, long famous for its shitty attitude toward LGBT students, wanted "balance", and it felt the best way to find that balance was to keep Aaberg off the task force and make sure Bryan Lindquist, spokesman for the Parents' Action League, was on it.

What's the Parents' Action League? They're the group that, when Anoka-Hennepin got in trouble for being shitty to gay students, tried to get them to be shittier to gay students, including providing access to groups that promote "ex-gay" therapy, and, in a move so retrograde it smells like the reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan, insisted that AIDS be referred to as "Gay-Related Immune Deficiency". That's the diverse viewpoint they felt was necessary for their anti-bullying squad.

"I want to get them the resources that are necessary to lift them out of this water and the sand and the ashes and the death that's over there in the East Coast and especially in the Northeast. But not one big shot to just open up the checkbook, because they spent it on Gucci bags and massage parlors and everything you can think of in addition to what was necessary." - Steve King, America's Stupidest Congresscritter, making sure families devastated by a natural disaster spend any federal aid in a Steve King approved manner.

This quote dates from Halloween, but that's OK, because there still hasn't been an official federal Hurricane Sandy relief bill even suggested, much less passed through Congress, on account of Congress being full of fucking useless blobs of protoplasm stuffed with corporate cash like Steve King.

If $1 out of every $10 spent on disaster relief is somehow wasted by poor people taking advantage of the government, but stopping that $1 in fraud means that the other $9 don't get spent on helping people, you either spend the $10 or you're a fucking sociopath. And that's not even counting the positive economic effects caused by the alleged "wasting" of disaster relief funds. I'm just talking about the principle of the thing, and therefore going completely over the empty head of Steve King.