Easter Pa-rage

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Memo to Patrick Howley and dozens, hundreds, or thousands of others: YOU ARE DUMB.

This may seem a bit odd coming from me, given the nature of this site, but not everything is political, and not everything that's a little bit political is a political zero-sum game. And thinking that it is is inherently dangerous, because it leads to unseemly displays of unwarranted whining. You know, like what happened on Easter.

On Easter Sunday, which fell on March 31, 2013, the people at Google made up one of their trademark Google Doodles, a special version of their logo tied to a specific date. And this year, Google went with Cesar Chavez Day, which commemorates the birthday of the Latino labor leader. Which falls on March 31.

You can see where this is going. Brown guy named Chavez honored by multinational corporation on Easter Sunday? Try JESUS thrown over for some brown rabble-rouser who gave a shit about the poor. Or some other brown person named Chavez because who can tell them apart anyway?

After Michelle Malkin reported on Twitter that Google was honoring Hugo Chavez, a whole bunch of dipshits who still haven't learned not to listen to Michelle Malkin got very, very upset. Then, when they learned it was Cesar Chavez, they weren't mollified, because they were probably both Communists or something.

Over at Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller, they took a break from pretending a Latino senator got caught visiting whores to pretend that honoring a Latino labor leader was a slight against Christians, probably related to Barack Obama somehow. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"Google executive chairman Eric Schmidt was an informal adviser to both of President Obama’s presidential campaigns, a member of the Obama White House transition team in 2009 and a onetime prospect for an Obama Cabinet post during the president’s second term." - The Daily Caller's Patrick Howley, incensed, I tell you, at the thought of a rich businessman taking a role in a presidential campaign!

Howley also said it was "unclear" why Google honored Chavez instead of Easter before using a loose series of unconnected facts to try to blame Obama for it. Perhaps Howley is unfamiliar with how Google Doodles work? Google makes a Doodle for various historical, artistic, and pop cultural figures and events on their birthday or anniversary. Sometimes they do holidays, sometimes they do other things.

If you make a fuss about this, you're basically saying two things. First, it's not enough for Easter to be celebrated by all the world's millions of Christians. Easter doesn't count unless it's given its proper due, EVERY SINGLE YEAR, by the front page of a popular search engine. That's what Jesus ultimately wanted, after all.

And second, it's a crime when someone celebrates something you disagree with, or something with the same last name as someone else you disagree with. If, on Feb. 6, Google decides to do a Ronald Reagan Doodle, probably filling the O's with jelly beans or something, that doesn't mean the international reggae community has been slighted by the lack of a Bob Marley Doodle.

A quick Google search on "Google Doodle complaints" featured the following pontifigurds of a political nature. The Chavez-Easter thing (conservative whining), bitching about the use of "Happy Holidays" (conservative whining), Saudis outraged at an unveiled Martha Graham (conservative whining), the Memorial Day tribute being too reverent and understated (conservative whining), and, well, that's it. I think that tells us everything we need to know about the kind of mindset that thinks this shit is even remotely important.