Another Victory For Moderate Republicanism

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Memo to Barack Obama: YOU ARE BEING DUMB.

Ah, supporting Barack Obama. For us liberals, it's the political equivalent of the take a penny, leave a penny tray at a convenience store. Sometimes, like with gay marriage and Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Obama leaves pennies in the tray. Sometimes, like with Gitmo and drones, he takes pennies from the tray.

And of course, there are a certain group of people who insist that the system's working fine, and we shouldn't concern ourselves with the number of pennies in the tray. The tray's there, and sometimes there are pennies in it, and that's good enough, even if we really need a penny and the tray's been empty for months.

Obama "joked" during the campaign that he was a moderate Republican, and the latest proof of that dropped last week, when the Obama Justice Department sued the Obama FDA over the latter's ruling that Plan B, a.k.a. the "morning after" pill, a.k.a. emergency contraception, should be sold over the counter to teens as young as 15.

And in case you were wondering if the lawsuit had to do with the fact that 15's a stupid age cutoff, because what fifteen-year-old carries a legally acceptable proof of age these days, no. It's because the Obama Justice Department doesn't want teenage girls to have easy access to emergency contraception.

Why is this? We can't know. Maybe it's a political calculation - Obama doesn't want to fight the right-wing outrage over a perfectly reasonable policy, so he chooses to fight the perfectly reasonable policy instead. But I prefer to believe the reason being leaked to the press, because it rings true, on account of it being very "moderate Republican". According to Talking Points Memo:

"Current and former White House aides said Obama’s approach to the issue has been heavily influenced by his experience as the father of two school-age daughters."

Ah, yes. That. The curse of fatherhood. The attitude that puts the "patriarch" in "patriarchal society". And when the father in question is in fact at the head of the society, that connection is even more direct.

Barack Obama doesn't want to think about his precious daughters having sex, so he doesn't want to think about what they'd do if a condom broke, so America doesn't get to think about it, either. And that's a shame, because the rest of us don't get a secret squad of ultraminiaturized Secret Service agents stationed in our Fallopian tubes when we come of age.

The medical community says it's safe. The FDA says it's safe. Judges have ruled that it should be over the counter to all ages. But by all means, fight the ruling, because fathers protecting their daughters from scary boys is just the kind of tired, conservative stereotype we should be basing public policy on in the year 2013.