Miracle-Free Zone

« May 2013 »

Memo to Tim Graham, Steve Stockman, and Pat Robertson: YOU ARE FUCKING INSANE.

It is, in many ways, the central thesis of You Are Dumb Dot Net, at least in its later years. Society as we know it is fucked, because society as we know it keeps listening to people who are fucked. In the head. People you would cross the street to avoid if they were standing on a box on a streetcorner shouting? They get TV shows, they get to write laws. They get to run things. And they are IDIOTS who SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"MSNBC touting Karen Finney as another African-American host. Would the average viewer be able to guess that? Or is Boehner a shade more tan?" - Tim Graham, of the right-wing Media Research center, on Twitter.

It's nice to see white people continuing their long-standing tradition of arbitrary determining the ethnicity of others. Racists of the past cited the "one drop" rule, Bill Maher decides that Wayne Brady's not black, and now Tim Graham has determined that race and ethnicity are determined by the collective opinions of the "average" MSNBC viewer. Or the followers on Graham's Twitter feed.

And why is he doing it? To deny MSNBC a third African-American host? Why is that even a goal? I mean, I get it when racists try to deny Obama's first black presidency because of his white half. It's fucking vile, but it's got comprehensible motives. All Graham is doing is being a pissy, racist little shit for no reason.

"This is a truly bad bill. This is helping the liberals, this is horrible. Unbelievable. What really bothers — it’s called a women’s act, but then they have men dressed up as women, they count that. Change-gender, or whatever. How is that — how is that a woman?" - Steve Stockman, Texas Republican, further distinguishing the party during the Violence Against Women Act mess.

The impressive thing about Stockman's quote is that the clueless use of "change-gender" isn't even the most incomprehensible thing about it. It's the "This is helping the liberals" part. Delivered like it's (a) obvious, and (b) something to be devoutly avoided, as a matter of policy, at all costs. Now, admittedly, helping liberals HAS been avoided for decades by both parties, but that's not something Stockman would understand.

Then, of course, there's Stockman's view of gender identity politics, which dates from an era where asbestos, lead, and cigarettes were all good for you, but actually living a happy life in the gender identity that matches your brain is unspeakably horrifying. On the upside, piggy little Stockman's 56, so his worldview might be dead even before he is.

"People overseas didn’t go to Ivy League schools. We are so sophisticated, we think we’ve got everything figured out. We know about evolution, we know about Darwin, we know about all these things that says God isn’t real, we know about all this stuff.” - Pat Robertson, explaining why God makes all his miracles happen in Africa.

Yeah, America! You think you're so smart? You think you know things about how the world works? Well, fine! No miracles for you! You'll have to settle for the trappings of science, like TV cameras and a global telecommunications infrastructure that lets Pat Robertson explain to you, over great distances, why Africans get miracles and you don't.

Once again, God doesn't work in mysterious ways, he just works in incredibly petty and spiteful ones. The God of Pat Robertson is kind of a douche.