Beyond Thunderdoma

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Memo to the religious right: AWWWWWW.

A lot has happened this week worthy of consideration here at You Are Dumb Dot Net, but if I have anything approaching a system by which I prioritize what I write about, at the top of the list has to be the unmitigated schadenfreude I get when wingnuts don't get their way.

I mean, I'm happy about yesterday's DOMA and Prop 8 decisions by the Supreme Court. Sure, that happiness is mitigated by the realization that three Supreme Court justices are insane (Thomas, Alito, Scalia), one is deeply problematic (Roberts). I mean, any rational analysis of Section 3 of DOMA has to lead to it being unconstitutional. Two married couples from the same state get different federal benefits on account of their gender? Four justices were fine with that. And none of them show any signs of dying or retiring in the next three years.

But it was only four, so a big chunk of Bill Clinton's hideous 1996 triangulation finally gets undone. Not all of it - married gay couples who move to a state that doesn't have gay marriage are still hosed - but a big chunk. And oh, are they upset. And oh, how their upsettitude warms my heart. ACTUAL QUOTES TIME!

"My thoughts on the SCOTUS ruling that determined that same sex marriage is okay: 'Jesus wept.'" - Mike Huckabee.

STOP MAKING JESUS SAD, GAY PEOPLE! I know Twitter is not the place for nuance, but the DOMA decision wasn't about whether gay marriage was OK. It was about whether the federal government could deny married couples benefits even after their state determines that same-sex marriage is OK. But your misunderstanding makes you sadder and makes your fake version of an already fake Jesus cry, so I'm happy.

"Supreme Court overrules God." - Fox News contributor Todd Starnes. And he's correct. It's not the first time they've overruled God, and it won't be the last, because the Founding Fathers gave the Supreme Court more power than God over the American system. Don't like it? Move to a country where God reigns supreme. I hear Iran is looking for a few good men.

Starnes went on to wonder whether the Bible would be outlawed as hate speech, and whether the Feds would be hauling priests out of the pulpit, which is just ridiculous. I'm sure it'll be restricted to Leviticus and Pat Robertson, as it should be.

I would have thought the worst human being on the planet, Bryan Fischer, would be upset, but he actually tweeted out a sweet, touching paean to his desire to marry both of his brothers, who happen to be badgers. So that should be a lovely ceremony, assuming Fischer doesn't have the gall to try to wear white.

"I think this is the conundrum and gets back to what you were saying in the opening — whether or not churches should decide this. But it is difficult because if we have no laws on this people take it to one extension further. Does it have to be humans?" - Rand Paul, on Glenn Beck's show.

Say what you will about Republicans, they are consistently, across the board, unwilling or unable to understand the concept of "consent". Whether it's filibustering judicial nominees, taking a gal out for a "good time", or thinking people can marry badgers, they don't know what "consent" means or why it might be important. Or, dare I say, legitimate.