You Are Dumb, which is not a blog, posts new columns every weekday, except for a couple of days each month when it doesn't. It is also a Twitter feed, @youaredumb, with content in a similar vein but much shorter. My spinoff food site, Forkbastard, can be found easily enough by the clever.
Don't Call It A Comeback
Memo to Steve King: LET LOUIE HAVE HIS TIME.
It was just a few weeks ago that, through an epic flurry of stupidity, Louie Gohmert stole the World's Stupidest Congresscritter championship belt from longtime champion Steve King. King, who had largely been quiet for months other than a lone Tweet that illegal aliens (actually DREAM Act protesters) were invading (actually visiting) his office, burst into a flurry of activity that began LITERALLY the Wednesday of the week I gave the nod to Gohmert.
And while I'm not ready to set up a championship rematch just yet, King is clearly demonstrating why he's the number one contender. And it's almost entirely immigration-based. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!
"It would hurt Republicans, and I don’t think you can make an argument otherwise. Two out of every three of the new citizens would be Democrats."
Let's keep this quote in mind as we continue, because while Steve King is a racist and a horrible human being and an idiot, don't think for a second that if immigration reform were going to help Republicans, he'd find a way to be in favor of it.
But it's not, and he's not, and so Steve King found himself on Univision defending a speech in which he said we should treat immigrants like we do dogs, and only bring in the "pick of the litter", which for people means bringing people from good "civilizations". which is of course Republican code for "white people".
When told that Mexicans don't like to be thought of as dogs, King explained that "that speech was about the vigor of legal immigration. It was a very complimentary speech and no I did not do that."
Of course, "vigor" itself is, as words go, loaded as fuck, with a distinct genetic and breeding component, which is why it's offensive both on its own and in the context of Steve King talking about dogs. And, of course, let's not forget that when Steve King selects the pick of the litter, he does so because he likes the idea of pitting it against another pick of the litter in a fight to the death because God gave him dominion over animals.
At this point, a normal person might have learned his lesson about weird, animalistic depictions of "the other" that might get you in trouble, but not Steve King!
"It's true in some cases, but they aren't all valedictorians, they weren't all brought in by their parents. For every one that's a valedictorian, there's another 100 out there that they weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75 pounds of marijuana across the desert." - King, confusing DREAM act kids with immigrants as a whole, and then talking about their calves.
That's the amazing thing about Steve King. Any other politician would have said "some are valedictorians, some are drug mules". Any other racist would have said that for every valedictorian, you get 100 drug mules. Only Steve King goes out of his way to describe the impossible physical characteristics, achieved by performing a physically impossible task (due to the relatively low density of marijuana), to scare Americans with the fear of zombie-like Mexican pot mutants.
Now, with any statement like this, there's as much comedy in the post-comment defense as there is in the comment itself, and I suspect I'll be bringing you that later this week. But what's important is that Steve King is clearly not taking his loss lightly, and is applying his total lack of cognition and full-on xenophobia to taking his crown back.