Take Action By Taking No Action

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Memo to America: JUST DON'T DO IT.

I'm going to get this out there early this week, since the problem keeps getting earlier, too. And it's a message you need, desperately, to hear.

Don't go shopping on Thanksgiving.

I'm not saying this as part of some anti-consumerist rant. I'm not a proponent of "Buy Nothing Day". And I don't necessarily think that holidays are automatically sacrosanct from the providing of goods and/or services. Sometimes I need shit on holidays, too.

I say this as someone who likes stuff, and who likes getting good deals on stuff - make Best Buy and Wal-Mart and Target and department stores wrong. Make the people that think the solution to their economic problems are opening earlier and earlier wrong. Stop the weird arms race.

It's not difficult, You've not shopped on Thanksgiving for decades. It was easy. The stores weren't open, you didn't go. If you needed something the next day, you waited and got it. If you wanted to start your Christmas shopping the Friday after Thanksgiving, you did, although fuck knows why anyone would want to do that.

Yes, if you don't go shopping on Thanksgiving Day, you're not going to get any of the deals. You know what? You probably weren't going to get them anyway. Black Friday deals are mostly a scam designed to get you so irritated you'll buy other, regular-priced items out of exasperation and the desire to have not wasted your fucking time getting up early and surrounding yourselves with annoying, stinky other humans. It'll be the same thing a day earlier.

At the end of the day, you're stealing a day off from a bunch of people with no power to say "no, fuck you, I'm not going to work on Thanksgiving", and who may, in some cases, not even get any extra compensation for telling you "no, we're sold out of the $200 TVs" on a holiday.

In other words, all you have to do to send a message to retailers to roll back their pointless, damaging encroachment on the idea of "time off" is not subject yourself to a pointless, deeply unpleasant shopping experience, and instead, eat turkey and watch football and fart on your couch the way you always have. It could be the most successful American protest in history. Just do nothing for, like, 18 hours. I know you're up to it. Don't let me down.