Cheney Family Values

« December 2013 »

Memo to Liz Cheney and her enablers: YOU ARE DUMB.

Before we begin, if you missed this weekend's bonus column because it was on the Sunday of a long holiday weekend, well, there was one. And now, on to the show.

The recent gay marriage pontifigurd between the Cheney sisters was a minor tussle, by political standards, but it was also gloriously illustrative of everything that's wrong with everything.

Quick précis in case you're not fully aware. Mary and Liz Cheney are both daughters of full-time evil cyborg and part-time Vice President Dick Cheney. Mary Cheney is a happily-married lesbian living in Washington D.C.-adjacent Virginia. Liz Cheney is taking a break from pretending to be her dad on cable news shows in order to pretend she's from Wyoming so that she can take the Senate seat there from fellow Republican Mike Enzi.

To win a Republican primary against a conservative Republican in motherfucking Wyoming, Liz Cheney can't seem even the slightest bit moderate. Which would normally not be a problem for Liz Cheney, who typically turns moderation to stone when it looks at her. But a Wyoming push poll told people that Liz Cheney loves baby-killin' and the gay-marryin', so Liz had to insist that she doesn't.

And of course, she did it in what proved to be the usual condescension that conservatives settle on when they think they're being nice. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"I love my sister and her family and have always tried to be compassionate towards them. I believe that is the Christian way to behave.”

I assume the "compassion" comes in where she only denouces their marriage in public, for political gain, and not when you're attending the wedding you don't agree with or hanging out with the spouses you think should be single. Which is a very Christian way to be, but that's not a compliment.

Mary Cheney essentially told her sister to fuck off and die, in polite language, which is the only appropriate response. Or the only inappropriate response if you're, say, Matt Lewis of the Daily Caller:

"Let’s all let Mary in on a little secret here: YOUR SISTER IS PANDERING. That’s right, once safely ensconced in the U.S. Senate, Liz Cheney will probably 'evolve' on the issue.' Putting personal political views ahead of blood relatives... seems like a relatively new phenomenon."

Get that? Throwing your sister under the bus for political gain isn't putting political views ahead of blood relations. Not stuffing it down and taking it when you're angry about it, on the other hand, totally is.

Maybe, just maybe, we'd be better off if politicians had a tougher time pandering. Maybe Liz Cheney shouldn't be "safely ensconced in the Senate" as a result of lying to the voters and concealing what is quite possibly the single, solitary way in which she is not a complete and utter asshole.

It happens all the time, yes. But in this, we have one of the most egregious examples in recent years. Liz Cheney's attitude toward her sister is either actual love and support, which she is lying about, or barely-concealed "compassionate" contempt for the entire concept on which her relationship is based, in which case that should be exposed for what it is and how awful it is.

But with the legions of people like Lewis and Fox News who give Liz a pass because of who she is and whose daughter she is and, even though it's a primary battle, right-wing tribalism, that'll never happen and shit will just keep getting worse.