Starvation Builds Character, Says Well-Fed Expert

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Memo to Kevin Cramer, John Stossel, and Stuart Varney: YOU ARE AWFUL.

American poliics, circa 2013. Increasing marginal tax rates on the top one percent of earners by a few points is unacceptable class warfare. Openly advocating tor the starvation of poor people, however, is just good, solid moral policy. Is it obscenely vomitous and cruel? Yes. But that's what happens when IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"2 Thessalonians 3:10 English Standard Version (ESV) 10 For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. When did America become a country where working for benefits is no longer noble?" - North Dakota congressman Kevin Cramer, responding to Biblically-themed criticism of his position on food stamps.

There you go. Republican public policy on poverty. I found one spot in the Bible that says poor people are lazy and should starve, and that trumps anything else it might say. It's the same principle that lets supporters of "traditional marriage" eat at Red Lobster.

And who would they work for for the benefits? The government? Is he advocating giving poor people government jobs? With government benefits? I bet he's not. I bet he's talking about some chain gang, prison labor bullshit to try to encourage people to go out and get all those private sector jobs right now that simply can't be filled because of all the lazy people raking in the benefit money.

"It's a bad thing. You're an enabler. You're enabling their alcohol and drug habits. Far better to... help them get to one of the social service agencies." - Fox News' John Stossel, on giving homeless people money.

Three important facts to put this quote in its truly evil context. Stossel spent an hour impersonating a homeless person so that he could expose the people who were charitable toward him. He claimed that his one hour proved that homeless people pull down a lucrative "$23,000 a year... tax free." And John Stossel, the bleeding edge of hardcore libertarianism, doesn't think there should be social service agencies, and that private charity should fill that need, even though he recommends sending people to social service agencies instead of engaging in private charity.

In other words, John Stossel is easily one of America's top five assholes, and possibly top three.

"I thought that the Pope was really very much in favor of the European social model, which is neo-Socialism... I don't want to mix politics with my spiritual life. When I go to church I don't wish to have my vote touted for by the preacher. I don't want it. I don't want any mention of politics whatsoever." - Fox News' Stuart Varney, staking out a bold new conservative ideal.

Yes, Stuart. No politics in religion! Religion and politics don't mix! No using the Christian faith to oppose increasing income inequality, that's neo-Socialism! And no using Thessalonians to justify food stamp cuts... and Leviticus to oppose gay marriage... and whatever weird-ass theology decided blastula get souls even thought the people who wrote the Bible thought "mitosis" was the plural of "my toe".

Boy, it sure would be disappointing if Varney's newfound hatred of pulpit politics only surfaced now that the world's most influential Catholic is suddenly espousing views Republians were OK with 25 years ago. Yep. Sure would be disappointing. Did I say disappointing? I meant painfully, brutally obvious.