They Totally Would Have Played Sun City

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Memo to Greater Wingnuttia: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

As an ardent observer of politics and an even more ardent misanthropist, the reaction to the death of Nelson Mandela filled me with an indescribable glee. My original thought, as I mentioned on Twitter, was that I was looking forward to wingnuts having to praise a black ex-convict who fought for racial equality. Comedy gold. And it happened. For example, Newt Gingrich on Facebook:

"President Nelson Mandela was one of the greatest leaders of our lifetime. When he visited the Congress I was deeply impressed with the charisma and the calmness with which he could dominate a room. It was as if the rest of us grew smaller and he grew stronger and more dominant the longer the meeting continued."

Now, in Gingrich's defense, as one of the few Republicans to support anti-apartheid sanctions in the 80s, his praise is less hypocritical than most. But then, we got a misanthropist Christmas miracle. The psychotic, racist, nativist, Commie-hating, angry fringe right that Gingrich and his ilk have been cultivating, fomenting, and refining for decades proceeded to bite them on the ass like a pond of rabid, quarter-wit piranhas. Which led to one of my all-time favorite headlines:

"Gingrich Defends His Praise Of Mandela"

We've come such a long way. Why, it seems like just eleven years ago Trent Lott had to defend praising segregation, and now Newt Gingrich has to defend praising the man who fought against it. And it wasn't just Gingrich. Ted Cruz got the same thing on his Facebook page. What kind of person takes offense to post-mortem praise of Nelson Mandela? Here's a little something I found in the comments on Tucker Carlson's Daily Caller:

"Since 1994, TENS of THOUSANDS of white South Africans have been MURDERED, RAPED, TORTURED, DISEMBOWELED and MUTILATED by South African blacks. It is the genocide that NOBODY is talking about or stopping. South Africa's current president, Jacob Zuma, sang a song about killing white people; the song is called "Kill the Boer". In fact, Mandela sang about killing whites too. What's happening to whites in South Africa happened to whites in formerly Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe... May God be with and protect all the white people in South Africa."

In many wingnut eyes, Nelson Mandela was a communist terrorist murderer who should have stayed in his goddamned place. And any politician who says otherwise, out of politeness or actual belief that Nelson Mandela was an important figure in the fight against oppression? Well, they're a stinking RINO who doesn't belong in the movement.

For fuck's sake, TED CRUZ is being attacked for coddling Communists. None of them are safe from the monster they've created, and every single chunk out of their hide brings a smile to my face.