Search And Ye Shall Find

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Memo to Martin Luther King, Jr: YOU'D BE DISAPPOINTED IF YOU WEREN'T DEAD.

Yes, it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and as is at least a semi-regular tradition, I pop over to Google News, enter the term "racism", and see what pops up. In the interests of thoroughness, I also searched on "racist", and, in tribute to Paula Deen, "n-word".

Needless to day, Madonna somehow ended up at the top of all three searches.

Madonna posted a picture on Instagram of her 13-year-old son boxing and hashtagged it "#disnigga", which falls squarely into the N-word rules. Black on black? Only noteworthy to white racists. White on black? Racist in the absence of special dispensation and/or rare context. Black on white? Just weird. White on white? Weird AND uncomfortable.

But where it gets fun is in her apology. ACTUAL APOLOGY TIME!

"There's no way to defend the use of the word. It was all about intention… it was used as a term of endearment toward my son who is white. I appreciate that it's a provocative word and I apologize if it gave people the wrong impression. Forgive me."

If you're going to give at least two defenses of the use of the word, Madonna, don't start your apology by saying there's no way to defend it. And honestly, if you're going to apologize for anything, maybe apologize for somehow, after 31 years of deliberately manipulating our collective image of her, somehow thinking that it'd be an OK hashtag to throw up on a social media site. That's just fucking sloppy.

In Germany, candy company Haribo will no longer be including a few shapes in its "Skipper Mix" of salty black licorice, which I assume the Germans eat to punish themselves for their complicity in the Holocaust.

Anyway, a couple of the shapes are sort of African masks, and a couple of the shapes are, well, sort of African. Sort of cartoony, sort of stereotypey, sort of caricaturey African. Clearly some legacy molds from a simpler time.

But the best part, of course, was the reaction from people who, most likely, never even looked at the shapes of the disgusting gummy nuggets they were shoveling into their face-holes:

"Your comment proves that Political correctness is a disease. This term was invented by communists to condition human behavior and censorship. You are a slave. Your brain is no longer yours." - A commenter in the New York Daily News, which means the commenter has never even seen salty black licorice, much less cared what shape it comes in.

Still, as excuses go, "I have to be an asshole, or the communists win!" is inventive.

And finally, in our inconsequential racism roundup, Meryl Streep caught some shit for saying that Walt Disney was an anti-Semite, a bit of a racist, and a sexist. You see, Tom Hanks didn't play him that way in the Disney movie Saving Mr. Banks, so he couldn't possibly have been anything but perfect. He made Mickey Mouse!

But then Abigail Disney, grand-niece of ol' Walt, cme forward and said what needed to be said - of course he was. Did he do great things? Sure. Did he do and believe some awful things? Fuck yes. Should we ignore or hide the bad things because we like the good things? Fuck no. And that's not communist censorship. That's reality.