Noise'll Be Walking Funny Tomorrow

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Memo to creationism debates and Jay Leno: YOU ARE DUMB.

A duo-de-numb of items to close out the week. Call it MILDLY AGITATED TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY.

If you were wondering if I was going to discuss the Bill Nye/Ken Ham evolution/creation debate, the answer is almost no. It would be totally no, but it is normally the kind of thing I'd be all over, and I can't talk about why not without talking about the thing, so...

Basically, I like Bill Nye, and I don't want to be mean to him, and I'm sure his heart's in the right place, but fuck debates. Come see me when your "debate" has two things they never have - a way of deciding a victor that both parties agree to, and some fucking stakes.

Nye probably wiped the floor with Ham, because Nye is a personable, smart guy with the chops to take Carl Sagan's old job at the Planetary Society, and Ken Ham is a man-sized discarded skin tag that's learned how to tie a tie and say "Bible" phonetically. But it doesn't matter. Today, I got a wingnut e-mail saying that Ham declared God's Word the winner of the debate. No arbiter, no stakes. Everybody gets something out of it, which means Ken Ham got something out of it, which means fuck that noise.


Speaking of pointless stupid shit I refused to watch, Jay Leno left the Tonight Show forever for the second time last night, and good fucking riddance.

But this event does remind me of Jay Leno's 60 Minutes interview, which I did catch a bit of by accident. 60 Minutes, having successfully transitioned from the well-regarded newsmagazine of the 70s and 80s into some kind of "TMZ for Tea Party grandpas" monster, tried to frame Jay Leno's appeal in unsurprising, yet wrong, terms.

They mentioned critical dislike for Leno, but decided that was some kind of elitist coastal hatred, in contrast with Leno's heartland flyover Real American supporters. I know I'm fucking a lot of noise for a man my age, but fuck that noise.

Boring, stupid people like Jay Leno because Jay Leno is boring and stupid. That's not elitism. It's at worst a snarky meritocracy. One that can't even gain much of a threshold in things like ratings. There are a lot of boring, stupid people with Nielsen boxes. So it has always been, and so it shall ever be.

But that doesn't make Jay Leno some kind of blue collar saint. It just makes him Jay Leno, the last remaining evidence that the term "sellout" has any meaning left in this world.