Burning, Love

« February 2014 »

Memo to Newt Gingrich, Charles Payne, and Mike Huckabee: YOU ARE DUMB.

The right is weird. There are a certain set of normal reactions to concepts like sex, uncontrolled burning, money, and children's toys )good, bad, good, and good, respectively) that they, for various reasons, don't seem to share. OK, not various reasons. Just the usual reason. IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"The age of the dinosaurs was dramatically warmer than this is right now and it didn’t cook the planet. In fact, life was fine. Assume for a minute that we have the capacity to actually decide the planet's temperature. What kind of hubris does it take to say, I know exactly what this planet’s temperature ought to be and I’m going to manage it to that effect?" - Newt Gingrich, dooming us all.

Hubris? Newt Gingrich is going to lecture me on hubris? What's next, marital fidelity, hairstyling, and appropriate reduction of face-redness? Is it hubris when a health inspector tells you what temperature a chicken should be?

And yes, it was warmer during the time of the dinosaurs and it was fine for life, because THE LIFE WAS DINOSAURS. Not dinosaurs and Fred Fucking Flintstone, just the dinosaurs. The fight against doing something about climate change is, quite simply, a mix of 35% rank stupidity and 65% ensuring the long-term suffering and death of billions in order to maintain short-term comfort and profit.

“Why is the head of a corporation, where they hire people, people go to work, they pay their rent, their mortgage, they put their kids through college, they feed their families, they give to charities, they give to churches — why would the CEO be an easy target?” - Fox Business' Charles Payne,

Payne, of course, is referring to The LEGO Movie, which made millions of dollars for corporations by leveraging the powerful brands of other corporations, albeit in a wildly entertaining fashion.* Payne thinks that because the villain is named "President Business", that the movie is socialist propaganda.

You know, for a globally-dominating, always-right force for universal good, capitalism is really fucking fragile. Apparently, a bunch of European plastic bricks sold at what is clearly a fairly obscene markup, can send it crashing down like, well, a ton of bricks. Would that it were so.

“No, why would I? What’s wrong with — even the word? It’s a wholesome thing. God gave us sexual drive. It’s not something dirty. It isn’t vulgar. It’s a wonderful gift from God in the context of a relationship between a man and a woman who have committed to each other as life partners. That’s a good thing. There’s nothing unholy or untoward about that.” - Mike Huckabee, pretending that's what the libido thing was all about.

I am very, very, very too familiar with the classic pivot of pretending that everyone was upset about a thing you didn't say, instead of the thing you did, but seriously, come the fuck on.

What you said that was unholy and untoward was that if women don't want to get pregnant, they should refuse that wonderful gift from God instead of running to the government, who you called "Uncle Sugar", for slut pills. Which is what you believe, so fucking own up to it, and don't act like a virgin in a locker room explaining to everyone how great you think all that sex stuff is.

* Haven't seen it yet, but the Miller/Lord track record is unassailable and reviews are reflecting that.