There All Is Akin

« July 2014 »

Memo to Todd Akin, Todd Akin, and Todd Akin: GO AWAY.

You would think, if you were generally considered singlehandedly responsible for the Republican's epic loss of the women's vote in 2012, that you would get yourself a nice private sector job, crawl into it, and nervously await the "legitimate rape anniversary" calls from bored reporters. But when it comes to Todd Akin, "would think" is not an operating concern. There's just an IDIOT returning to SAY SOME MORE OF THE DAMNDEST THINGS!

"My comment about a woman's body shutting the pregnancy down was directed to the impact of stress on fertilization. This is something fertility doctors debate and discuss. Doubt me? Google 'stress and fertilization,' and you will find a library of research on the subject." - Todd Akin, unapologizing in his book, because, um, Todd Akin gets a book deal, I guess?

And we know what your comments were directed to. That's part of the problem. You think a "legitimate rape" is one that causes intense stress. Violent stranger rape. So it's OK to deny abortions for rape victims, because if they get pregnant, that means they actually enjoyed it and it wasn't legitimate rape. That's why everyone yelled at you.

The other problem, of course, is that you based the, if you'll pardon the term, legitimacy of your theory on the fact that "if you Google it, you'll find people who think it's true." Well, yes. The fact that YOU think it's true is all over the Internet, for one thing. But it doesn't matter, because if you Google anything, you'll find a bucket full of asshats who believe it. That is not evidence.

"I use McCarthy as an example of someone who was assassinated by the media, so he had no credibility.” - Todd Akin, picking a great example for all the wrong reasons.

Seriously, is there any greater encapsulation of modern wingnut delusion than "I was persecuted just like Joe McCarthy"? Todd Akin wishes he could have done five percent of the damage Joe McCarthy did to people's lives by being wrong. Which is, I presume, why Akin's trying so hard to get back into public life.

"The bottom line is that my career was ruined for my linking the words 'legitimate' and 'rape.' The Clintons, meanwhile, have maintained their careers only because the media have consciously delegitimized the rape and assault charges against Bill Clinton. - Todd Akin, because everything is Bill Clinton's penis' fault.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm entirely comfortable with any of the ways Bill Clinton got off. But I'm not sure where Akin gets off assuming that Clinton must have been guilty, and should be considered a political pariah by the media instead of a statesman. I guess Akin knows Juanita Broaddrick was legitimately raped because she didn't get pregnant.

Not only does Akin use this equation to stand on as he tries to nail himself to his own cross, but he also extends this courtesy to Hillary, who, I guess, is guilty of the crime of being married to an accused rapist, and is therefore... Hillary Clinton. Why should she get to run for office in two years when Todd Akin will... probably be able to run for office in two years. I mean, what, really, would stop him? Not shame.