Palin Comparison

« January 2015 »

Memo to Sarah Palin: HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Does everyone remember the Sarah Palin Rule? As you may recall, once Sarah Palin ceased being a threat to the very fabric of American society by losing any potential control she had over it, and became a paid purveyor of stupid shit, she left the purview of this column, except on those rare occasions when her stupidity got the better of her and instead of being a useful idiot, she became a liability to those whose cause she ostensibly supports.

And if her rambling, 20-minute speech to The Faithful at the Iowa Freedom Summit doesn't qualify, I don't know what does.

Journalists who were there described it as the most incoherent speech Sarah Palin has ever given, which should frankly terrify you. Because from all the excerpts I read, "most incoherent" is them being kind.

But the best part? All the rambling, all the word salad, apparently began when Palin's TELEPROMPTER FAILED.

You may not remember this, but before Benghazi, for several years, one of the leading charges against Barack Obama by Palin and others on the right that, were it not for his teleprompter, Obama would be incapable of stringing three consecutive words together. Obama was different from previous presidents who'd used the prompter in the same way Obama was different from previous presidents in general, of course.

But it turns out that if you turn 2015-vintage Sarah Palin loose without a script, she will, amongst other things, go on a lengthy rant about how the mainstream media, with their librul elitism, piled on her just because she let her special-needs son use a dog as a stepstool and responded to American Sniper tweets with a hand-written placard that said FUCK YOU MICHAEL MOORE on it.

I mean, what could possibly be wrong with that? Especially the latter one? I mean, she replaced the K with a blank line so it's not like she even swore. And she replaced the O's in "Moore" with gunsights, just like normal reasonable people do. How dare they criticize her for these things? She's just keeping it real.

And really, who but an intellectual snob would have an issue with this turn of phrase? ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"What will they do to stop causing our pain, and start feeling it again? Well, in other words, um – Is Hillary a New Democrat or an old one? Now the press asks, the press asks, 'Can anyone stop Hillary?' Again, this is to forego a conclusion, right? It's to scare us off, to convince us that – a pantsuit can crush patriots."

I'm not entirely sure even this will do the trick, but the part of me that still hopes for stuff has always hoped that the anti-intellectual bent of the far-right would eventually cause exactly this - one of the "down-home", "real American" morons they elevated and embraced to turn out to be an unavoidable embarrassment to even the dumdums in the rank and file. This may not be it, but kudos to Palin's gradual descent into madness for bringing us closer to it than we've ever been.