Incompetent, Evil, And Stupid

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Memo to John Kasich, Chris Christie, and yes, Ben Carson: STILL AWFUL.

This week, my continuing quest to use IDIOTS SAY THE DAMNDEST THINGS to prove the different-but-equal awfulness of the GOP presidential candidates extends beyond what they say, which is awful, to their campaign tactics, which are also awful. Not Jeb Bush awful, for obvious reasons, because I haven't heard anything about Marco Rubio wanting to bang Jessica Jones, but still pretty awful. And then there's Ben Carson, who's just fucked up. And possibly the new frontrunner!

"Let me tell you something: I've about had it with these people... What has happened to our party? What has happened to the conservative movement?” - John Kasich, pretending to be the sane one.

Cracker, please. You know exactly what happened to the conservative movement. You knew it when you got into the Ohio governor's mansion with the help of the Tea Party. Or cooperated with Sarah Palin on restricting abortion in Idaho. Just because you think you're running the asylum doesn't mean you suddenly get to put on a lab coat and pretend you're not one of the inmates.

We all know your record. You're Scott Walker with more hair. You think your union-busting, anti-choice, anti-gay, anti-poor shit don't stink just because you're not calling for mass deportations? You've just been sitting in it for so long you've grown accustomed to the smell. So feel free to tack to "mainstream conservatism" and see how far that gets you. See how many of your particular breed of monster there are out there.

"I don’t believe that group just be justified when they’re calling for the murder of police officers... Sure they are, sure they are. They’ve been chanting in the streets for the murder of police officers... That's what the movement is creating." - Chris Christie, on Face The Nation.

Oh, Chris. I hope this strategy wasn't what you were yelling about on the phone when you got kicked off the Amtrak "quiet car" and had to apologize. Because it wasn't worth it. Blaming BLM for murdering cops is, to use a John Kasich term, "mainstream conservatism". Because, well, mainstream conservatism is racist, and "Black Lives Matter" has "black" in the name, and so you have to oppose it. Plus, Ted Cruz was spouting the same shit a week ago, and if the two of you team up, you still probably couldn't crack double digits.

But I do want to address one thing I couldn't quite fit into your quote - you also said that by supporting Black Lives Matter instead of police, Obama is promoting "lawlessness". But there are laws against excessive force and racial profiling. What you're suggesting is that police officers are synonymous with "the law", which is only true if you're in a 1940s gangster movie or are Judge Dredd.

"Rape or incest, I would not be for killing a baby because the baby came about in that way. And all you have to do is go and look up the many stories of people who have led very useful lives who are the result of rape or incest." - Ben Carson, saying the thing about abortion people should have paid attention to.

Yes, Ben Carson compared abortion to slavery. Ben Carson compares everything to slavery. The last time Ben Carson gave a Yelp review to a restaurant, he gave it two stars and said it was better than slavery. Which I think he gave one star to on Yelp, because while it was wrong to kidnap and enslave an entire race of people, it did create something incredibly useful to compare stuff to.

But what I want to know is, if anecdotal evidence of useful, happy lives being led by the people born from rape and incest are enough to justify outlawing abortion, then conversely, anecdotal evidence of a complete and utter asshole produced through consensual sex should be enough evidence to outlaw pregnancy. Or, to put it another way, Carson and the rest of the GOP field are in fact data points in an argument for global mandatory abortion.