My New Favorite Domestic Terrorist

« November 2015 »

Memo to insecure cops and Marshall E. Leonard: YOU ARE DUMB.

Quick SPASTIC TOPIC MONKEY FRIDAY this week, because an astonishing percentage of my research pile is Ben Carson-related, and that's gonna take some time to process. See, when Carson pulled ahead of Trump in the polls, it was time for the media to start really paying attention to him, and as you may know if you follow the news, this has led to some truly startling and hilarious revelations. But until then, let's look at a pair of less-than-completely-effective protest actions by certain folks with grievances.

Apparently, for the past two weeks, there has been an organized police campaign against Quentin Tarantino. It's a sort of miniature Dixie-Chicks style pontifigurd stemming from a criminal justice reform event on October 24 where Tarantino used the word "murderers" to describe the cops that have killed people most of us agree shouldn't have been killed. The police didn't take kindly to that, and are trying to get people to boycott Tarantino's next movie, "The Hateful Eight", as a result.

Now, obviously, I have no problems with police organizing any kind of boycott in response to any kind of speech they don't like. Free speech doesn't mean freedom from consequence and all that. But between this and the so-called "Ferguson Effect", which as far as I can tell is law enforcement using rising crime rates to deter people from filming them, like way too many powerful people, police are acting like whiny little fuckers at the slightest bit of criticism. How dare anyone question how they do their jobs. How dare anyone record how they do their jobs. I wish the lofty seats of those in power were as precarious as those people act like they are.

Shout out to Marshall E. Leonard, my new favorite domestic terrorist. There's been a lot of domestic terrorism lately, not that you'd know it from the media, because the media, as we know all too well, doesn't call it terrorism when a white Christian sets a Planned Parenthood clinic on fire. This is not, by the way, what Marshall E. Leomard did. That's not how you become my favorite. You become my favorite by getting arrested for a recent bombing a Wal-Mart in Mississippi.

And by "bombing", I mean throwing some kind of unspecified "explosive device" into a Wal-Mart that "made a loud noise" but didn't hurt anybody. So it might have been an M-80 for all I know. The point is he did no damage and caused no injuries apart from, presumably, that headache some people get when they smell gunpowder. And he did this on November 1. To protest Wal-Mart's decision to stop selling Confederate flags. A decision that was made four months ago. And he got caught because witnesses spotted a large Mississippi state flag sticking out of his car - a state flag that, of course, features the stars-n-bars.

In other words, a Mississippi pigfucker whose mugshot looks exactly like the sketch you'd draw after reading the news story, whose name resembles a mashup of two country bands with a history of Confederate flag worship, waits four months to throw an ineffective bomb into a local Wal-Mart to protest their lack of Confederate Flag merchandise, then gets busted thanks to his beloved Confederate flag. That's not just stupid. That's borderline MAGICAL.