Erick Badson

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Memo to Erick Erickson: MUST BE ROUGH.

It's been a rough week for frequent column regular, former CNN contributor, former RedState fuhrer, and current guy pretending that AM talk radio is still a viable thing Erick Erickson.

The thing that makes Erick Erickson so funny is that, at the end of the day, he's Donald Trump without the success. Which is something that could be said of most of Trump's voting bloc, true, but Erickson's even more so. Erickson follows the Limbaugh-Trump wingnut playbook of being outrageous, then pointing at the outrage as a sign that he's scored some kind of moral victory over the stupid liberals, but without a media empire or personal fortune backing up his bravado, Erickson's strident wingnut voice cracks at the most hilarious moments.

For example, in the wake of San Bernardino, the New York Times posted a front page editorial calling for a litle bit more gun control. Erickson responded to this by taking a dead-tree copy of the New York Times, shooting it seven times, and posting a picture of it on Twitter. This was, essentially, the wingnut equivalent of bragging that his penis was three full inches long when fully erect, and the Internet responded accordingly, laughing at him.

Erickson took this derision as a Quaylian Badge of Honor, of course, and wrote a short "explaining the joke" piece for Fox News' website where he defended his poor grouping as intentional excellent marksmanship. True or otherwise, you can't claim victory while also saying "I meant to do that."

But it got even better when his buddy at RedState, Jay Caruso pretended everyone making fun of Erickson was a liberal freakout, and contributed what will go down in this space's history as one of the all-time great wingnut defenses in history. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"I like the two that claim Erick “literally” shot at the NY Times as if he was standing outside 620 8th Avenue in New York City with a Rambo bandanna around his head firing at the building with an M16."

Well, no. They claim Erick "literally" shot at the NY Times because he literally shot at the NY Times. You know how I know that. I know that in two ways. One way is that I saw a picture of the literal NY Times he shot at, and the second way is that the abovementioned Fox News piece written by Erick carried the headline "Why I shot holes in the New York Times editorial (literally)". How little do you have to have to support your argument, how pathetic do you have to be, to try and paint Erickson's own words as liberal media hyperbole?

But Erickson's week only gets funnier from there. In order to defend, presumably, Trump and the far right's extreme bigotry towards Muslims, he used Twitter to tell everyone he was raised by a weird racist. According to Erickson, his mom wouldn't let them have Asian food on Pearl Harbor day because his parents were "children of World War II."

As defenses go, this raises certain questions. Like why his mom hated all Asian food when only the Japanese attacked us at Pearl Harbor. Subgum fried rice was an innocent victim of Kathleen Erickson's blanket racism. Or alleged racism.

Because Erickson is just famous enough that when he says shit like this, websites are happy to go through the minimal effort to check them out. Not only was Erickson's mom born two years after Pearl Harbor, making his "children of World War II" definition a little bit iffy, Erickson's mom doesn't remember anything like that. But in her denial, she proved one thing. Whatever the Ericksons have, it's genetic.

"I’ve never heard that before. Whatever you heard, I think that is completely your idea, I have never heard of that before. Somebody is making that up about my son.” - the Erickson matriarch, to Gawker.

Erickson The Younger then threw his elderly mom's memory under the bus, because that's what the politics of personal responsibility is really all about. Oh, also, LIBERAL MEDIA IS OUT TO GET HIM. They're not really out to get him, of course. He was just a target of opportunity. He popped up, and they took some potshots at him and posted the results on the Internet. Surely he can't be upset about that.