Curl Up And Dye

« January 2016 »


The mystery of why young people vote has been something old people wonder about every election. But as an old person who used to be a young person and occasionally pays attention to young people, I think a big part of the problem is a lack of apathy.

It sounds counterintuitive, I know. But young people are young. They think things are important. They want to change things. They want to make a difference. They haven't formed the deep neural grooves caused by repeated disappointment that allow them to not care enough to vote. Because let's face it, if you want to make a difference, voting's about the worst possible way to do it.

Case in point, if you'll pardon the distraction, Bernie Sanders' electability will not be decided by the democratic process. Whether or not he can be elected will not be determined empirically - by giving people a chance to vote for him and seeing if they will. His electability is being determined right now, because, well, the Clinton camp has gone on a full-bore offensive questioning his electability, and the media is picking up the narrative that of course he can't be elected, because he's a socialist! And they're running with it. And this is MSNBC we're talking about.

I'm not saying that the Clinton camp is necessarily wrong on the electability thing. Sanders would certainly face blistering Republican attacks on his crazy liberal policy ideas. Of course, so will Hillary Clinton, whether she has crazy liberal ideas or not. Ted Cruz just attacked Donald Trump for having crazy left-wing ideas, so no amount of moderation among Democrats will make them safe. The point, though, is that the reality of Bernie's electability will be shaped and in large part created by how much people talk about why he's not electable. Not about how America actually feels about democratic socialism or whether they want the things he's offering. It's taking place entirely outside the electoral process. Voting won't change shit.

All of this is to illustrate a recent incident in which young, adorable, naive little embryos of idealism tried to make a difference, tried to work with the system and discuss things with their congresscritter, and got asked personal questions about their sex lives for their trouble. It's not a civics lesson they teach in schools, but it's a very important one nonetheless. We are ruled by derp.

I speak, of course, of Washington state congresscritter Mary Dye, who asked a half-dozen teens lobbying with Planned Parenthood for expanded insurance coverage of birth control whether or not they were virgins. And, according to reports, implied that at least one of them wasn't. Because after all, virgins don't need birth control, and everyone should stay virgins until they marry one person and have sex with them forever whether or not the person they marry are any good at it because FUCKING IS FOR MAKING BABIES ONLY YOU SLUTS.

Because we don't have a system where reasonable people can talk things out and try to convince each other that their point of view might be wrong. We live in a world where Mary Dye, a genuine crazy person with no sense of boundaries, gets to decide the extent to which some of you get to control your own reproductive systems. But I'd like to address a specific point the crazy person made in her pseudo-apology. ACTUAL QUOTE TIME!

"In hindsight, a few of the thoughts I shared, while well-intended, may have come across as more motherly than what they would expect from their state representative.”

From this, I can only conclude that in addition to being a shitball of a lawmaker, Mary Dye is also an awful mother, and I feel bad for her three kids. Becuase if your teenager comes to you and manages to ask you about access to birth control, and your only reaction is to ask them point-blank if they're fucking, well, that's the worst possible reaction you could have. And you'll be a grandma in about a year or so, depending on the relative proximity of this conversation and the nearest prom.