The Closing Argument

« November 2016 »

Memto to you all. VOTE FOR HILLARY.

Shocking endorsement, I know. But there's one aspect to this race that I think hasn't been focused on enough, an aspect of the race that really provides a very compelling argument for voting for Hillary Clinton.

Donald Trump, you see, is an insane moron asshole.

I'm not saying this because I like calling him names, though I do. I'm not basing this on the various things he's done, or the policies he's taken or supported.

Listen to how he speaks. He speaks like stupid people speak. The last time we had a president who talked like stupid people speak, he fucked things up for everyone, crashing the economy and getting us into two stupid wars. And Donald Trump talks like a much stupider person than Dubya ever did.

He reacts to stimuli like a crazy person does. That's why he lost all three debates due to Clinton providing him with stimuli that he could react to like a crazy person. That's why he apparently can't be trusted to do his own tweeting during the last week of the campaign. Things happen, and the way he responds to them is a clear picture of a broken brain.

And we all know he's an asshole.

I can't remember the last time we had an insane moron asshole as a president. Or even as a candidate. Romney was pure asshole. Dubya was pure moron. McCain was an insane asshole. Poppy Bush was just an asshole. The system until now had largely prevented the rise of a triumverate insane moron asshole from coming this close to the Presidency, but that's what happens when you systematically dismantle that system as more of your supporters and candidates are insane, morons, and/or assholes.

And while we're talking supporters, let's not forget that a lot of Trump supporters are straight-up monsters, and that there's a strong correlation between intensity of Trump support and degree of monsterdom. You've all seen the interviews with them, the clips with them at rallies, et cetera. For some reason it was beyond the pale for Hillary to call their traits deplorable, but whatever. We all know it's true.

So fucking vote for fucking Clinton already. She is many things. Some of those things are things we don't like. But she is sane, smart, and by the standards of American politics, a non-asshole.

Vote if you live in a safe state. I live in a safe state. I could not vote tomorrow and Hillary would still win Minnesota and, honestly, even the down-ballot stuff wouldn't change. But I'm voting anyway, because more than in any other election, MARGINS MATTER. That includes the national popular vote margin, a number that will be looked at and referenced and used for years to come to determine exactly how much support there is in America for insane moron assholery, and will shape the future political calculations seeking to calibrate their public displays of insanity, moronitude, and general shitheel tendencies.

In other words, the larger the margin Trump loses by in 2016, the more difficult Ted Cruz will have things in 2020. So fucking do it. No excuses. Suck it up. Remember, we vote for the lesser or two evils because evil is bad and less of it is a good thing.